Social Decline

2006 Will Mark The Return Of The Greatest....

2006-02-19T12:47:00.000-04:00

My Chemical Romance and Fallout Boy are screwed...

The Return Of Guns N' Roses?

After nearly a decade and reportedly $13 million of work in the studio, it looks as if Axl Rose may have finally finished "Chinese Democracy," which has to be one of the most eagerly anticipated rock albums of all time.

According to the New York Post, the reclusive former Guns N' Roses frontman -- whose given name is William Bailey, by the way -- showed up the other night about 5:30 a.m. at Manhattan's Stereo nightclub, demanding to get in so he could continue his 44th birthday celebration.

Stereo's owners were just closing up when Rose enticed them with an exclusive "Chinese Democracy" listening party. Rose sent his driver to retrieve the CD -- which has been in the works since 1997 -- and the birthday boy and his entourage of babes and bandmates were allowed to party at Stereo until about 8 in the morning.

Rumors have long plagued "Chinese Democracy" -- particularly that it might never be released -- but those were finally quashed a month ago when Rose told Rolling Stone at a KoRn tour announcement party that "Chinese Democracy" was almost good to go.

"Some of the arrangements are kind of like Queen," Rose told Rolling Stone. "Some people are going to say, 'It doesn't sound like Axl Rose, it doesn't sound like Guns N' Roses.' But you'll like at least a few songs on there."

Rose had recorded 32 songs at that point, with 13 to be released on "Chinese Democracy."

Backing up Rose is an all-star lineup including Tommy Stinson of the Replacements, Buckethead, Brain "Brain" Mantia of Primus and Robin Finck of Nine Inch Nails, with guest spots by Brain May of Queen, Josh Freese of A Perfect Circle and Dave Navarro of Jane's Addiction.

Picture Of The Week...

2006-02-19T00:41:00.000-04:00

Continuing the trend of providing zero content...here is a new half-assed feature in which I will post an interesting picture (until I get too lazy for even that!).

Don't blame me...I'm working on something more important.

Anyways, it's Kurt Cobain (with head still intact), Courtney Love (with only 1 or 2 STD's), and daughter Frances Bean (before the famous gangbang videos of 2010).

September 11th + Valentine's Day = Comedy Gold

2006-02-17T00:14:00.000-04:00

I'm lazy. Enjoy this post.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2006-02-13T20:02:00.000-04:00

What better way to celebrate Valentine's Day then with a beautiful quote like this...?

Love is the delusion that one woman is different from another...

...and a beautiful woman to take home to mom....for an incestual lovefest/threesome!

What Is Wrong With You People?!?

2006-02-07T00:48:00.000-04:00

Ok, so here I was...on Limewire downloading some Reggaeton music when I decide to do a search for the artist 'Baby Ranks'. Check out these wonderful results.

Seriously, who downloads these videos? And what kind of sick fetish do you weirdos harbor?

Once A Meth Whore.....

2006-02-04T04:07:00.000-04:00

It hurts me to know that not too long ago, for a hit of Meth I could have been all up on Stephanie Tanner. Oh well, I’m pretty sure the hooker that walks up and down South Beach is Kimmy Gibler. Not a bad catch, if you ask me.

I did manage to snatch (get it?) this ULTRA-RARE pic of Stephanie during one of her drug binges posing nude for Meth. Simply amazing what some people will do…..

Anyways, this is the story....

'Full House' star talks meth

Former Full House cutie Jodie Sweetin has earned herself a spot on the lengthy list of child stars gone wrong.

During an appearance on Good Morning America Wednesday, Sweetin, who played middle sister Stephanie Tanner on the hit sitcom, revealed that she is a recovering meth addict and once battled a daily drug habit, reports E!Online.

The ex-actress, 24, said she had trouble figuring out how to adjust to a regular childhood existence after Full House ended its run in 1995.

''There is a certain sense of loss when a series ends,'' Sweetin said. ``It is kind of hard to figure out who you are when you've lost your job at age 13, when that was basically how you identified yourself.''

In an attempt to lead a ''normal'' kid's life, Sweetin attended high school and college, graduating with a degree in liberal arts. In 2002, she married a Los Angeles police officer.

Though she occasionally appeared in bit parts on TV series, including Party of Five and Yes, Dear, Sweetin's acting career essentially stalled after Full House. Two years ago, bored and unemployed, the former child star began experimenting with drugs as a way to pass the time. She was soon addicted to methamphetamine and using the debilitating drug every day.

Though Sweetin stops short of blaming her addiction on her child-star lifestyle, she concedes that her career may have stripped her of some of the benefits of a typical childhood.

''Growing up in the business you have to grow up very fast -- you do have a different type of childhood, that has its benefits and it has its drawbacks,'' Sweetin said.

After a particularly bad three-day bender, which reportedly resulted in an intervention staged by former Full House co-stars Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, John Stamos and Bob Saget, Sweetin checked herself into Promises rehab facility for six weeks of intensive therapy.

Clean and sober since March of last year, Sweetin now admits she was ``living a total double life.''

''I was married to a police officer -- we are going through a divorce right now -- he had no idea,'' she said.

Ice Cube’s Biggest Failure (Aside From XXX 2)

2006-02-04T03:58:00.000-04:00

Okay, so he was the key member of the legendary N.W.A and his solo career pre-1996 was a critical success….and we all own Friday, but there was one little endeavor which didn’t go as planned, and that was the wack “super group” called Westside Connection.

Imagine a group with “WC”, whose own mother falls asleep the second he starts rapping, and Mack 10, perhaps one of the most generic West Coast rappers of all-time (that’s really saying a lot)….and Ice Cube, a lyricist WAY past his prime boasting about Westside Connection being the new N.W.A. I don’t think so.

The first mistake, aside from releasing a garbage debut CD of course, was dissing a seemingly harmless rapper named ‘Common Sense’, now known as Common. Common, who has since had minor hits with Erikah Badu and Mary J. Blidge, makes Kanye West look like a drugged-out DMX. Common had a minor hit called “I Use To Love H.E.R” about some nice girl who moves out to Cali and becomes a whore (or something) and Cube for some reason (perhaps lack of material) declares it a diss to the entire West Coast and creates a weak track against Common called “Westside Slaughterhouse” which unlike the LEGENDARY, HARD-HITTING, UNFORGETTABLE, “No Vaseline”….is forgettable except for the tight beat.

Sample Lyrics from “Westside Slaughterhouse”

Used to love her mad cause we fucked
Her pussy whipped bitch with no common sense

Surprisingly, Common, the first Emo rapper came back harder and shocked the Hip-Hop community with his own diss track against Westside called “The Bitch In Yoo”…

Sample lyrics from “The Bitch In Yoo”

A bitch nigga wit an attitude named Cube
Step to Com wit a feud
Now what the fuck I look like dissing a whole coast
You ain't made shit dope since AmeriKKKa's Most
Wanted to cease from the Midwest to the East
On the dick of the East for your 1st release
Your lease is up at the crib house niggaz get evicted
And videos wit white boys talking you get Wicked

It’s not bad enough that they got clowned by Common, next up was a beef with Cypress Hill in which Ice Cube ended up getting assaulted and robbed and had his Westside Connection medallion stolen and given to B-Real of Cypress Hill…..to be photographed with.

Westside Connection 0, Everyone Else 2.

How many Poles does it take to build a roof?

2006-01-29T06:57:00.000-04:00

Just one, but you need 1,300 firefighters, police officers, and rescue workers in case the shit falls on you in the middle of a Pigeon Race!

Roof Collapses at Poland Hall

KATOWICE, Poland - Rescuers searched in bitter cold Sunday for victims buried when the roof of an exhibition hall in southern Poland collapsed, killing at least 65 people and injuring 160.
ADVERTISEMENT

Up to 500 people were in the building for a racing pigeon exhibition when the roof fell Saturday in the city of Katowice. Officials could not say exactly how many people might still be trapped inside.

The death toll rose Sunday as rescuers dug through the debris. No one had been found alive since Saturday night.

Tadeusz Dlugosz said he was dragged out of the twisted wreckage only to find out his 26-year-old son had been killed. He remained at the site Sunday, trying to find out where his son's body had been taken.

"It was his idea to come to the fair ... and he found his grave there," Dlugosz said. "I don't know which morgue he's in. I would like to see him and take him as quickly as possible."

At least 65 people were killed, said Krzysztof Mejer, a spokesman for the government of the Silesia region.

Among the dead was a police officer who was providing security for the exhibition, said police spokesman Janusz Jonczyk, adding that there were at least 160 people injured.

People who escaped said two emergency exits were open, but other exits were locked, leaving many victims trapped.

Franciszek Kowal, who got out onto a terrace and jumped about 13 feet to safety, saw people struggling to break windows to escape.

"I saw a macabre scene, as people tried to break windows in order to get out," Kowal told The Associated Press. "People were hitting the panes with chairs, but the windows were unbreakable. One of the panes finally broke, and they started to get out by the window."

Attorney Grzegorz Slyszyk, who represents the company that owns the building, said he had no immediate information on the reports of the locked doors. He said if any were locked, the reason would be investigated.

Crews who been picking through the wreckage with only hand tools for fear of harming surivors prepared to start using heavy equipment as hopes faded of finding anyone alive. Temperatures dropped to 1 degree.

"Officials are at the scene now to see if heavy equipment can be brought in," Mejer said.

Janusz Skulich, head of the Silesia region fire brigade, said rescuers were having trouble reaching many bodies without heavy equipment.

"We know they aren't alive, but we can't reach them," he told TVN24 television. "We will be able to reach them when the whole construction will be systematically pulled down."

"The likelihood that we will find people alive down there is almost zero," he added.

In the moments after the collapse, people trapped in the wreckage used cell phones to call relatives or emergency services and tell them where they were.

Crumpled birdcages were scattered inside the building near the entrance, and dozens of white and brown pigeons perched on the twisted rafters, their feathers ruffled against the cold.

Police said snow caused the roof to collapse, but Slyszyk, the attorney for building management, disputed that, saying snow had been regularly removed and that it was too early to speculate on a cause.

Some 1,300 firefighters, police officers and mine rescue workers from around the region were brought in to help.

Prime Minister Kazimierz Marcinkiewicz flew in by helicopter and spent about 15 minutes looking over the site with rescue crews.

The 110,000 square-foot hall had been hosting the "Pigeon 2006" fair was made up of more than 120 exhibitors, including groups from Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Ukraine and Poland, according to the fair's Web site. The gathering was devoted to pigeon racing, a sport in which pigeons are released and race home using their sharp sense of direction.

Katowice, some 200 miles south of Warsaw in a mining region, has been hit with the same heavy snow this winter that has been plaguing much of eastern and central Europe.

On Friday, snow caused a town hall's roof to collapse in the southern Austrian town of Mariazell, though no injuries were reported.

On Jan. 2, the snow-covered roof of a skating rink collapsed, killing 15 people, including 12 children in the German Alpine spa town of Bad Reichenhall.

Signs that Jesus might not like you...

2005-12-17T16:39:00.000-04:00

This is Marlie Casseus, a 14-year old Haitian girl with a 16 pound Tumor on her face.

A blast from the past!

2005-12-17T16:33:00.000-04:00

If you don't know what that's about, click here for an interesting read.

The Song Of 2005

2005-12-17T02:43:00.000-04:00

I am the King of stealing music, therefore there are thousands of new songs I heard in 2005 that come to mind for song of the year but when I think of the absolute best of the year, I can’t ignore System Of A Down’s ‘Lost In Hollywood’ off their Mezmerize album.

Sure, at first glance the lyrics seem a bit hokey but given a listen you will see exactly why it’s the song of 2005. Add to the fact that the song was not one of their singles (thank God!) and their annoying lead singer, Serj plays a very small role in this song…well, that’s a perfect recipe for a great, melodic, gothic rock song.

CLICK HERE to download ‘Lost In Hollywood’…

New Year’s Resolutions

2005-12-14T00:32:00.000-04:00

Goals For 2006

Fix License (pay $1,300 worth of fines)
Bring Back Love (Oh Rosalyn, you KNOW you still love me!)
Go Back To The Dead (lost funeral home job when my license pooped out)
Revive “The Decline” (where have all the comments gone???)

Reality For 2006

Fix License - Before collecting the money necessary to drive again, I get pulled over driving illegally and get sent to jail. License is revoked for 1 year…I learn that walking, though healthy, does not get you laid.

Bring Back Love - After several attempts to find love, a restraining order is served to me…in front of new girlfriend, soon to be ex.

Go Back To The Dead- After landing my dream job once more late in the year, lose it almost immediately when while accusing my boss of eating my Taco Bell leftover, the words “Flaming” and “Fag” follow the word “You”

Revive “The Decline” - After several insightful and interesting post, the people come back and The Decline comes back to life. Within a few days, I get involved with another married woman, lose interest in the web during “relations” and only come back to check up on S.D several months after my broken heart is healed. Once again, S.D dies.

Lest We Forget...

2005-12-11T16:44:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time there was a great producer/rapper who made his debut as a solo artist with a little album called “The Chronic”. Yeah, so Snoop, D.O.C, and RBX wrote all his lyrics, it didn’t matter cause the beats were tight! It was 6 years until he followed up the Chronic with “2001” but by that time the “Gangsta” Rap genre had seen better days and it was a disappointment. Well, it’s about that time for Dre to do another album, which some believe will be called “Detox” and the hype machine has been busy but before that long-delayed, on again/off again, bomb waiting to happen is released, let’s go back to his days before The Chronic and before he was a Nigga Wit' an Attitude as a key member of N.W.A.

These very old pictures come from his days as a member of the World Class Wrecking Crew. I’m not saying they are exclusive, but I sure as hell couldn’t find them online. I actually ripped them from an Eazy-E DVD, so enjoy.

P.S.- I am a burn-out so I might have posted these pics in the past, but I ain’t about to search through the archives for them.

The Hip-Hop Emo Myth

2005-12-08T23:22:00.000-04:00

Because it’s not just pasty, white kids that scream on records about being picked on for being gay, talking like a gay, or looking like a gay…there are some great Hip-Hop songs with whiny overtones. For every 50 Mike Jones and Lil’ Jons, there is a Goodie M.O.B or Scarface making us feel sorry for daddy leaving, being shot in the ass in a failed drug deal, or losing their baby mama.

Here’s The Greatest Emo Rap Songs!

10. Ever So Clear - Bushwick Bill
This half-man has been bitching about his life since his debut with the Geto Boys but this specific song, about shooting his eye out is as memorable as they come!

Whiny Lyric -I grabbed her hand and placed the gun to my eye muscle
She screamed stop and then we broke into another tussle
Yo, durin the fight the gun went off quick
Damn! aw shit, I'm hit

9. Dear Mama - 2pac
This "gangsta" was once a back-up dancer for Digital Underground. Need I say more?

Whiny Lyric:
I shed tears with my baby sister
Over the years we was poorer than the other little kids
And even though we had different daddy's, the same drama
When things went wrong we'd blame mama

8. C.R.E.A.M - Wu-Tang Clan
Ahh, good times...before Wu-Tang released their second album and sucked for over a decade.

Whiny Lyric:
Though I don't know why I chose to smoke sess
I guess that's the time when I'm not depressed
But I'm still depressed, and I ask what's it worth?

7. Time taker - Geto Boys
Here is little Bushwick bitching about his life again, but the lyrics that stand out is Big Mike's. When you hear them, even you begin to feel bad for him.

Whiny Lyric:
Why can't i memorize tommorrow and live my life as just a day?
A baby's born and you hears moms cryin'
Is she cryin' cause that she's happy or the fact that she know she gone
Dyin'

6. Changes - 2pac
Again....BACK-UP DANCER! So Mr. Shakur had a little sugar in the tank, big deal.

Whiny Lyric:
I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself
is life worth living should I blast myself?
I'm tired of bein' poor & even worse I'm black
my stomach hurts so I'm lookin' for a purse to snatch

5. Lil’ Ghetto Boy - Dr. Dre
This song is surprisingly not about Dr. Dre picking up little ghetto boys on the corner for hot sex at Death Row studios.

Whiny Lyric:
Murder was the case that they gave me
Dear god, I wonder can you save me?
I'm only eighteen, so I'm a young buck
It's a ride, if I don't scrap, I'm gettin' stuck

4. When I’m Gone - Eminem
The only thing Eminem had going for himself was "Slim Shady". So what does he do? A lyrical suicide, what else?

Whiny Lyric:
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, That the curtain is closing on me.
I turn around, find a gun on the ground
Cock it, Put it to my brain and scream "Die Shady!" and PUMP IT.

3. Ghetto Bastard - Naught By Nature
Perhaps the greatest true Hip-Hop Emo song in which a rapper calls his father a "fag". Treach, is now a porn star, by the way. Not so bad a life if you ask me.

Whiny Lyric:
I couldn't keep a girl.
They wanted kids and cars with chrome.
Some life.
If you ain't wear gold your style was old.

2. Papa’z Song - 2pac
Sissy boy!

Whiny Lyric:
Had to play catch by myself
what a sorry sight
A pitiful plight
so I pray for a starry night
Please send me a pops before puberty
the things I would do to see a piece of family unity

1. Suicidal Thoughts - Notorious B.I.G
The greatest of all-time did not have to wait to commit suicide, as he was gunned down less than 3 years after this song came out.

Whiny Lyric:
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wished she got a fuckin' abortion

I Am The Buster Douglas Of Relationships…

2005-12-04T03:14:00.000-04:00

In 1990, the undefeated, untouchable, undisputed champ, Mike Tyson took on an unknown, underachiever by the name of Buster Douglas. This was meant to be a tune-up fight to keep Mike ready for an upcoming fight against future 3-time world champ Evander Holyfield. Buster had no right to be in the ring with a fighter who possessed 1/3 of Tyson’s skill but since it was looked as a light challenge, Mike’s management thought it would be good to promote the future match-up, and pocket some easy cash.

What occurred in that ring that night to this day is still considered the biggest, most shocking upset in the history of boxing. Buster, inspired by the recent death of his mother took Tyson’s best power punches and amazingly put Tyson down in the 10th and won the world championship and became an overnight superstar. Tyson was never the same and went on to lose 5 more times before retiring. Buster’s fate was much different but not any better.

Buster, drunk on fame and riches signed on to fight Holfield but barely trained for the fight and came in out of shape and got demolished in 2 rounds by the future hall of famer, Evander. That was the end of Buster’s 15 minutes. Unfortunately, it didn’t end there and Douglas ate himself to nearly 400 Lbs, contracted diabetes, and ended up fighting for his life after falling into a coma.

This is the story of Rosalyn and M.C. Like Buster, M.C didn’t deserve to be in the same room with someone like Rosalyn but not only did he come up with a victory, but he followed in the same footsteps of failure that Buster made infamous.

Rosalyn, 26, is the perfect woman. Dominican, light-brown skin, curly, long hair, luscious lips, and the personality to make any man near her fall madly in love. M.C, overweight from years of working the night shift at a shitty funeral home, and about as strange and awkward as one can be immediately became smitten by Rosalyn but so did 4 other men at the job and one of them, Luis was a 25 year-old, blue-eyed Adonis surfer with the smile to make even the straightest man question their loyalty to their team.

Somehow, M.C and Rosa hit it off and within a couple of weeks began a whirlwind love affair that lasted a full 12 rounds. M.C, fought the fight of his life, did and said all the right things, and fell into the trap called love. But like Buster, he would never be able to repeat that feat and soon lost Rosa’s love, followed by her friendship and is now stuck living in the past, dizzy from a downward spiral that just won’t end.

Will M.C end up in the same dilemma as poor Buster or will he beat the odds and go one more round against another fighter like Rosalyn? Will he end up settling for a fat girl? Only time will tell but one thing is for sure... Social Decline is back so stay tuned for the strange tales from this former taxi driver for the dead.

Next time on Social Decline, M.C’s November 15th arrest for…brandishing of a handgun! No, seriously.

God Bless Rosa Parks sniff

2005-11-03T00:53:00.000-04:00

In the great words of the fat guy from Barbershop (not O’shea);

Rosa Parks didn't do nuthin' but sit her Black ass down!

He’s only half-right…she also sued to keep the world from having to hear that half-assed, lame Outkast song off the Stankonia album. Although she failed, for at least attempting to shut that flaming fag Andre 3000 up, and that alone, I will pay my respects to Rosa.

*pours out a little liquor*

KILL WHITEY!!!!

Kanye West, Go Away…

2005-10-30T02:24:00.000-04:00

Seriously, remember when Hip-Hop was underground? There was actually a time when MTV didn’t force Hip-Hop down our throats at every turn. Lil’ Jon, 50 Cent, Paul Wall, Mike Jones, all junk. Hip-Hop first died in 1997, after the back-to-back-to-back deaths of Eazy-E, 2pac, and Notorious B.I.G. It didn’t help that the long-awaited sophmore effort from Wu-Tang (first album a classic!), Wu-Tang Forever, was absolute crap. Then add Puff Daddy and Mase’s rise to fame (and radio/tv rotation), plus LL Cool J growing a vagina and pumping out one crap R&B/Rap video after another….Hip-Hop was officially dead.

Thanks to the likes of kid-friendly Eminem and 100+ one-hit wonders, Hip-Hop is the new Rock of album sales but at what cost? We are stuck with an egotistical, megalomaniac Kanye West at the top of the charts. I say stop buying into Kanye’s crap (boycott Pepsi) and pick up a copy of Digital Underground’s Best Of…

Looking For A Threesome?

2005-08-19T15:10:00.000-04:00

Check out this hottie from the personal ads of Craigslist. She's all you ever wanted if your idea of the perfect woman is sex with your grandma, while her bird watches (and eventually joins in).

-------------

I've been living in Naples since '97 (from CT) and I'd like to find a life partner . . . he doesn't smoke, doesn't abuse alcohol and is intelligent.

I like to dance, boating/fishing appeals to me, love to cook and keep a nice home, growing plants appeals to me too.

Sure would like to find that right one for me.

Deb

To reply to this ad - anon-91162784@craigslist.org

MP3 Of The Week

2005-08-12T22:25:00.000-04:00

Mudvayne - IMN

DOWNLOAD HERE

Lyrics:

suicide
don't give a fuck about this
my life or any other
just go ahead and let me hang
impossible to forgive, forget a murderer
I'm in control

living a lie
making it but i don't cost for this
I'm sick
bullshit
bring it

decisions making themselves
i don't need your pride in my faith
do i die

no one
no one could ever understand
my life's exhausted
no one
no one could ever understand
this life I'm in

determined
to bring you all down with me
will you beat out motherfucking empathy
from me, for you
fed up I've had enough
duality my word
existence
is it gonna get me there safe?
lay down
sell out
so wrong

did you make it go away
lost it conquered enough
take me right now

no one
no one could ever understand
my life's exhausted
no one
no one could ever understand
pressure constricting
so hard
like a stone
fight hard
break bones break

no one
no one could ever understand
this life I'm in

your pressure
at time
eroding
my life
fight for your honesty
fight for integrity

all work and no play
all work and no play
all work and no play waiting
all work and no play
all work and no play left me
sick!

wait
I'm gonna kill myself
leave my place!
cannot you just ease my pain
no pain! suffocate!
stomach this
don't give a fuck
right now, I'm done
fuck this shit
you've done all
I'm lying here

no one could ever understand
no one could ever understand
fight for your honesty
fight for integrity

no one
no one could ever understand
my life's exhausted
no one
no one could ever understand
pressure constricting
so hard
like a stone
fight hard
break bones break

no one
no one could ever understand
this life I'm in

my world
my world
mine it's

my world
my world
fuck you

my world
my world
mine it's

my world
my world
fuck you

Let's Get Retarded!

2005-08-12T19:37:00.000-04:00

Fergie, of Black Eyed Peas at a concert from this month. Uhh...

P.S- mc80 is back in the muthaphukkin house.

What Caused All My Problems...

2005-07-16T18:19:00.000-04:00

I hate you. I love you.

Movie Fans, Tighten Up Your Butthole!

2005-04-22T08:12:00.000-04:00

It’s bad enough that the new Superman movie, which is being directed by an openly gay Bryan Singer…has Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor for God sakes! So what did Synger do next? Cast a gay actor (seriously) to play the part that Christopher Reeve made famous, of course! Bryan, James Caviezel was practically begging for the role, you HOMO! There are also rumors that Singer will be including gay undertones in the movie itself.

If you’re wondering who this guy is, well check out old reruns of Will And Grace…the episode is called ‘A Gay/December Romance', according to the Internet Movie Database.

*sigh*

CHILD MOLESTOR ANYONE?

2005-04-21T18:46:00.000-04:00

Just because he’s retarded and British doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous.

Which Celebrity Are You? (QUIZ!)

2005-04-21T18:39:00.000-04:00

You’re Jose Canseco! Big, good-looking, irrational, and erratic. You strive to find that “perfect match” but you just can’t seem to get a break. When will women understand that madly jealous, manipulative, controlling, destructive, psychotic behavior, and occasionally knocking a bitch on their ass are POSITIVE traits?

What Celebrity Are You?
brought to you by Social Decline

SD's Must Fucking Download At Once

2005-04-20T23:23:00.000-04:00

This week’s Top Ten theme is devastating and depressing lyrics. I’ve always been a fan of depressing music and lately I’ve needed an extra dose of them just to survive the week. Also, I’m discovering that Sean Lennon is a fucking genius. Fuck that whole John Lennon drama. The man is extremely talented, I’d just wish he’d make another album. Unfortunately, his debut album ‘Into The Sun’ released way back in 1998 was also his ONLY album. I blame those asshole snob critics that can’t look pass his name.

1. Bob Dylan - Just Like A Woman
devastating lyric- Ah, you fake just like a woman, yes, you do
You make love just like a woman, yes, you do
Then you ache just like a woman
But you break just like a little girl.

2. Heart And Lung - Sean Lennon
devastating lyric- lately my memories are hazy
i can't remember how the story ends
lately my heart and lung are aching
sometimes i feel that all that I need is a friend

3. Mystery Juice - Sean Lennon
devastating lyric - Baby I'm a lonely kind of man
Like a rapper with a forty in his hand
I cant stand
When you talk about that other man

4. Mr. Jones - Counting Crows
devastating lyric -Believe in me
Help me believe in anything
I want to be someone who believes

5. Pinch Me - Barenaked Ladies
devastating lyric - On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I pack the car and leave this town
You'll notice that I'm not around

6. Suffocate - Cold
devastating lyric - You're such a fake it's true
I can't believe the words you say
I'm far away from you
I'll never bring back yesterday

7. Ballroom Blitz - Misfits

8. Some Kind Of Monster - Metallica

9. Mr. Brightside - The Killers

10. Life Fades Away - Roy Orbison
devastating lyric - My time has come the clouds are calling.
December wind has came my way.
And now i feel the world falling.
All at once, it’s too late.
Life fades away.

Life Imitating Art...

2005-04-20T17:04:00.000-04:00

One drink and leave. Don't be
rude, but drink your drink quickly,
say goodbye, walk out the door, get
in your car, and go down the road.

...it's a moral test of yourself,
whether or not you can maintain
loyalty. Because when people are
loyal to each other, that's very
meaningful.

So you're gonna go out there, drink
your drink, say "Goodnight, I've
had a very lovely evening," go
home, and jack off. And that's all
you're gonna do.

Who's Who?

2005-04-16T22:34:00.000-04:00

Who’s the one-hit wonder R&B singer?

Who’s the world-famous star of Toy Story 1 and 2 and toy for every white kid age 3-9 in America?

Answer:

I don't fucking know.

MP3 Of The Week (4-16-05)

2005-04-16T20:38:00.000-04:00

I heard lots of wanna-be bands from the 60’s do psychedelic music and I’m sure many of them were into the drug scene BUT when I think of a druggie the first person that pops into my head is the legendary Brian Wilson from the Beach Boys. Yeah, Brian started out all ‘pop’ and shit with songs like ‘Surfin’ USA’ and ‘I Get Around’ but it didn’t take long for drugs to influence his music and this is without a doubt the creepiest and weirdest song in their entire catalog! It’s also a leftover from the never-released Smile album and it's called 'She's Going Bald'.

Enjoy!

TO DOWNLOAD THE MP3 CLICK HERE

Thanks to You Send It for the webspace

...once you have downloaded the song, hit 'PLAY' and follow along with the lyrics below;

Silken hair, more silken hair
Fell on her face and no wind was blowin'
(She's goin' bald)

Silken hair, more silken hair
Lay near her pillbox down at her feet
(She'd been on a trip)

I peeked in and when I saw she'd
Lost her hair I thought I would keel
(she's goin' bald)
When she saw her shining forehead
Didn't stop she swooned to the ground
(Really flipped her wig)

Laughed so hard I
Blew my mind
I blew my cool
I blew myself over

Oh oh oh oh oh oh
Sha na na, sha na na na na na na na na
What a blow
Sha na na, sha na na na na na na na na
What a blow
Sha na na, sha na na na na na na na na
What a blow
Sha na na, sha na na na na na na na na
What a blow
Sha na na, sha na na

She drew her comb acrost her scalp
And brushed what she had left
I tried to salvage what I could
And threw it in a sack
She made a b-line to her room
And grabbed all kind o' juice
She started pourin' it on her head
And thought it'd grow it back
Ah ha haaaaaa

You're too late mama
Ain't nothin' upside your head
No more no more no more no more

Upside your head

Too late mama
Ain't nothin' upside your head
No more no more no more no more

Upside

Upside your head

You're too late mama
Ain't nothin' upside your head
No more no more no more no more
(What about it, dude?)

Proof That Looks Isn’t Everything In Hollywood

2005-04-16T16:21:00.000-04:00

I remember being a 14 year old horny teenager and catching a show on USA called Pacific Blue. It was everything you ever wanted to see as a kid; action, cheesy drama, and T & A. And then I saw her. Her name was Shanna Moakler and without a doubt she was perhaps the hottest woman on the planet. As far as beauty is concerned she blew away anything Marylyn Monroe ever had. I don’t remember much about her ‘acting’ except one scene where she was washing a car and they had the cameras in the car, peeking out to Shanna’s wet, soapy boobs. To the director of that episode…Stanley Kubrick has nothing on you! Thank you for making my teen years a joy.

Now as a 14 year old I was sure that Shanna would be the next great thing in Hollywood Babes but damn it if that didn’t happen. Her career fizzed out, she married a Mexican boxer, divorced him, did Playboy and now has a shit Reality TV show with A.I.D.S-infected Travis Barker of Blink 182. What a fall from grace.

Now look at someone like Marcia Gay Harden who’s dull looks put me to sleep in Mystic River. And you can expect her to bore you to death in at least 3 movies being released in the next few months. Or how about Katherine Keener? Now…I am one fat ass, ugly Mexican (not really) but I am sure even I would make a better looking woman than this lady. She’s also got three new movies being released this year. What gives?

Terri Schiavo Autopsy Pictures!

2005-04-15T20:41:00.000-04:00

It’s been a couple of days without a new post and to make up for it I am posting the super fucking RARE Terri Schiavo autopsy photos! There are about 15 in the series but I just skipped those and went straight to the good stuff. If this post gets good feedback I will post the rest of the series. Expect these to be posted on every single message board on the Internet within a week.

PS- I’m going to hell.

PSS- If you’re going to post these on your site could you at least link me somewhere? Not that I want credit or anything….just some fucking hits.

Social Decline’s MP3 Of The Week

2005-04-09T01:19:00.000-04:00

Finally!

Thanks to our quirky, half-nude Canadian friend from Head Wide Open, Tweeq, I am finally able to upload MP3’s to make available for download at Social Decline---and all for free. This will be a weekly affair so make sure to check up here every Sunday night to find out what song made the cut. If you download, please let us know what you think. And if you have a request, please e-mail me at socialdecline@hotmail.com.

This week’s MP3 Of The Week comes from the legendary Frank Zappa. The song is called Baby Snakes and, well…it’s about as unique as Frank Zappa himself. Enjoy!

(CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD FILE)

Thanks to http://www.yousendit.com/ for the webspace!

[NEXT MP3 OF THE WEEK - 4/19/05]

Baby Snakes Lyrics;

Baby Snakes
Late at night is when they come out
Baby Snakes
Sure you know what I'm talkin' about
Pink 'n' wet
They make the best kinda pet
Baby
Baby
Snakes
Looked around
An' there's a couple right near me
Baby Snakes
Maybe I think they can probably hear me
Pink 'n' wet
I'll take all I can get
Baby
Baby
Sna-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-kes, Yeah
They live in a ho-ho-hole
(Tiny hole)
That is usually empty
(usually empty, tiny too)
They live by a code
(Dit dit dit dit)
That is usually SMPTE
Which stands for
Society of Motion Picture & Television Engineers
Maybe I think
That is what keeps them in sync
They're wet 'n' they're pink
I think I'll give 'em a, give 'em a,
Give 'em a drink
Baby Sna-a-a-a-a-akesss

This Is Why Jesus Invented The Internet

2005-04-08T23:50:00.000-04:00

...after 10 long months I have FINALLY found a suitable mascot for Social Decline. She simply goes by the name ‘yuck monster.JPG’ and now I proudly introduce her to you!

Now that you’ve gotten a look at my future wife, please enjoy these thumbnailed images as a thank you from me to you for reading, linking, and posting on my blog.

Much Love,
-mc80

PS- God loves retard porn but hates fat girls.

You Ain’t Foolin’ Nobody

2005-04-08T17:22:00.000-04:00

Sorry ~~Ciara~~ Chris…I’m not buying it.

Someone Slice This Freak’s Throat

2005-04-08T08:00:00.000-04:00

In the great tradition of Social Decline’s “Slice A Sexual Predator’s Throat”, I would like someone to please slice this sick fucker’s girly throat for me. Below is a story from the Associated Press in which a former security guard testified that Michael Jackson was having oral sex with little boys. My question is a simple one….why would the security guard keep this secret for 10 fucking long years? Why not just call the police right there and then instead accept dirty pedophile money from Michael Jackson and cover it up? If this fat ass scumbag security guard is telling the truth he should be held accountable for not reporting a serious crime and instead accepting money to keep it hush.

Michael, from this point on I don’t give a shit about your music career. Thriller means nothing to me now. This has happened too many times for me to believe that you are innocent. I hope you get what you deserve in prison or that your conscience eats you up and you off yourself before going to court in the morning.

Michael Jackson Had Oral Sex with Boy, Guard Says

By Dan Whitcomb and Alexandria Sage

SANTA MARIA, Calif. (Reuters) - Michael Jackson had oral sex with a boy at his Neverland Valley Ranch more than 10 years ago, a former security guard said on Thursday, in the most sensational testimony yet in the singer's child sex-abuse trial.

Ralph Chacon, who worked at Neverland from 1991 to 1994 and lost a wrongful-termination suit against the singer, named the boy as the one who reached an out-of-court settlement with Jackson in 1993 for a reported $23 million. Jackson was never criminally charged in that case.

Chacon told the jury he heard Jackson and the boy, who was 9 or 10 years old, in the shower late one night in 1993 and later saw Jackson caressing the boy's hair, kissing him on the face and sucking his nipples.

"He put the little boy's penis in his mouth," Chacon said.

"Did you actually see that?" prosecutor Tom Sneddon asked.

"Yes," Chacon replied, adding that Jackson's kisses were "very passionate" and that the singer's hands were "all over" the boy's body.

Jackson's mother, Katherine, and one of his brothers left the courtroom during the graphic testimony.

Chacon, who was portrayed by Jackson's lawyer as a man with a grudge, was one of a number of witnesses called by the prosecution to demonstrate what they say is the singer's 15-year penchant for molesting adolescent boys.

He said he had also witnessed what he called a "passionate" kiss between Jackson and the boy on another occasion in the Neverland grounds. "His (Jackson's) hands went down to his crotch area -- to the boy's," he added. He never told anyone because he didn't think he would be believed.

Jackson's lawyers say that his accusers have been motivated by the prospect of lucrative settlements with the performer.

Lead defense attorney Tom Mesereau tore into Chacon, portraying him as a bitter man after filing and losing a wrongful-termination suit against the singer 12 years ago.

Mesereau noted that Jackson had countersued and emerged from a six-month trial with a $1 million judgment against Chacon and a court order for $25,000 in stolen property.

SELLING STORIES

Chacon, who worked the night shift at Neverland, acknowledged selling stories about Jackson's behavior with young boys to two tabloid papers after he stopped working there. He says he was forced out by harassment and threatening phone calls.

"After a six-month trial, this is a good way to get even with him (Jackson)?" Mesereau put to Chacon.

Required by the judge to rephrase the question, he asked Chacon, "Do you have any motive to get even with Mr. Jackson?"

"No sir," Chacon replied.

Jackson has pleaded not guilty to 10 counts of committing lewd acts on a 13-year-old boy at Neverland in early 2003 and plying the youth with alcohol in order to molest him. He is also accused of conspiring with his associates to commit false imprisonment, child abduction and extortion.

The trial, now in its second month, has heard testimony from the alleged victim and another young man who said they were masturbated or groped by the singer when they were boys.

Jackson's lawyers have portrayed the teenager at the center of the current case as a liar who was goaded into inventing the abuse by his mother.

The jury will hear testimony later on Thursday from another former Neverland employee.

What Ever Happened To Charlie Brown?

2005-04-07T20:09:00.000-04:00

In 1996, after a successful run in the rap group Leaders Of The New School rumors of a solo album by one of the members finally came true by none other than Busta Rhymes. If you’re like me you were not exactly a fan of Busta Rhyme’s scream/yell lame-ass style, in fact most people that I asked back then preferred L.O.N.S member Charlie Brown’s style. After all, Busta Rhymes (along with whack LL Cool J) ruined the Flava In Ya Ear remix all the while Charlie Brown was making the side act Funkmaster Flex And The Ghetto All-Stars credible, specially in his rap on Nuttin’ But Flava.

But this time it seemed that we were in a small group when Busta’s 1996 debut solo album reached Rap Album Of The Year status and Charlie Brown completely disappeared off the face of the Earth…never to be seen again. Since then Busta’s career took off, making a couple of movies and several hit records before falling to the eminent sell-out status.

So Charlie Dinko Brown…if you’re out there reading this, COME BACK WITH A SOLO ALBUM and put that busta-ass Rhymes out of his misery.

Poop? Naw, Pope.

2005-04-06T23:06:00.000-04:00

Pope was not embalmed, only "prepared"

The Vatican says Pope John Paul's body has not been embalmed -- only "prepared" for viewing. A spokesman didn't elaborate. But an embalmer in Rome says it appears that the pope's remains were touched up with cosmetics. He says even a light embalming is necessary for a body that will be exposed for several days.

WHAT!?!

Sorry to be rude and inappropriate but this Vatican statement is shocking. First of all, look at that pic. His face is already discolored. Where the fuck is the make-up? I’ve been around enough asshole funeral directors to know that you never have a viewing for a body for more than one day without embalming. In fact, the funeral home I worked at for 3 ½ years had a policy that if you didn’t embalm the body you could only have a two-hour viewing. This funeral home was part of a major corporation that owned over 900 funeral homes in the United State, not just some “Mom and Pops”.

So why would the Vatican display his un-embalmed body for the entire universe to see? This is a man who refused to be photographed in his death bed, I would assume he would not want his corpse on live TV for a week!

From experience, an un-embalmed body suffers from; skin discoloration, bad smell after 2-3 days, and worst of all---purge from mouth, eyes, and ass. Yup. Also, the fatter the person the more chance there is of anal leakage and The Pope was no Christian Bale in The Machinist.

Social Decline's Top Ten

2005-04-06T22:30:00.000-04:00

….and now I introduce you to Social Decline’s Top 10 songs for the month of April, straight from my Ipod. These are the songs getting the most airplay from a group of 1,804 MP3’s so you know they’re good. Clicking on the links will take you to their official websites, if they have one. If not they will take you to their Amazon album page and if you decide to buy their album I will not get a single penny…I promise.

If anyone has some extra space available, please e-mail me as I want to start an MP3 of the week-type program at Social Decline. Thanks!

Top Ten
April ‘05

1. Mr. Brightside - The Killers
2. I Want You - Bob Dylan
3. Crown Of Love - Arcade Fire
4. Just Like A Woman - Bob Dylan
5. Mr. Jones - Counting Crows
6. Spaceship - Kanye West
7. Envy Me - The Game
8. Mystery Juice - Sean Lennon
9. Almost - Bowling For Soup
10. E-Pro - Beck

Kelis Would Like To Remind You....

2005-04-06T22:28:00.000-04:00

...that's she's an idiot.

Burn Hollywood Burn

2005-04-04T18:27:00.000-04:00

Damn you, Hollywood. How dare you take a beautiful woman like Hilary Duff and make her feel insecure about her baby fat and slightly crooked teeth? Look at what you’ve done!?!?

Before and After:

If she keeps this up, I predict she will look like this in 3 years;

…and in 5 years we will be watching the tragic story of Hilary Duff on E’s True Hollywood Story and VH1’s Behind The Music.

This is what she might look like in 5;

So please Hilary, stay away from those faggots of Good Charlotte and Aaron Carter…stay away from the coke you’ve been sniffing to lose that baby fat, go to that dentist that butchered your mouth and demand a refund. Yeah, I know you’re career is in the dumps after two movie bombs and you’re less than 3 movies away from Playboy but c’mon!

This is the Hilary (restraining order) I fell in love with;

Ronnie Van Zant’s Corpse 1, Neil Young 0

2005-04-02T00:15:00.000-04:00

Everyone’s favorite decapitated corpse has struck back at hillbilly hatin’ Neil Young from the grave!

NEW YORK - Neil Young was treated for a brain aneurysm this week and remains hospitalized, although doctors expect a full recovery, his publicist said Friday.

The 59-year-old rocker underwent a procedure to treat it Tuesday night at a New York hospital, where he was expected to remain for a few more days, publicist Bob Merlis told The Associated Press.

Dr. Pierre Gobin, who performed the procedure with another doctor, said: "Mr. Young had a dangerous brain aneurysm and was treated successfully by the minimally invasive neuroradiology team here. He is now resting comfortably ... but we strongly recommend that he not travel for several days."

Young had been expected to perform Sunday at the Juno Awards — the Canadian equivalent of the Grammys.

"I'm really disappointed that I won't be able to make it to Winnipeg for the Junos as I had hoped. I grew up there and was really looking forward to the show as well as spending some time with my old friends and family," Young said. "Thanks to my doctors, I'm feeling a lot better now so I hope I can get a rain check."

The aneurysm was discovered when Young's vision became blurry after attending the March 14 induction ceremonies for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Merlis said. An examination by a neurologist detected the aneurysm and the procedure was scheduled.

The veteran rocker is expected to resume normal activities soon. But for now, Merlis said, "He's got to take it easy."

Save Tom Green

2005-03-31T18:17:00.000-04:00

Dear Tom Green,

After watching your un-funny appearance on G4-Tech TV’s lame ass ‘Attack Of The Show” I heard your cry for help. I know it’s been rough these past few years…your second version of the Tom Green Show was cancelled after like 3 episodes, your movie career was less successful than Yahoo Serious‘, and now you’re left doing correspondence pieces for the Jay Leno Show. I guess the worst was your appearance on that G4 show with a bunch of Leo Laporte-hacks. No one can replace the nerd-hatin’ bad ass motherfucker Leo Laporte. Fuck you Kevin Rose. Go host TRL or something.

I am doing the favor of creating an online petition to help you revive your career (just as long as you never fucking make another movie, ok?). My theory is that you miss getting your chubby smoked by Chubby Barrymore. Maybe if you can get her back you will go back to being funny and re-incarnate your original Tom Green Show with Humplik and that other guy. So if you are reading this, remember me when you win an Emmy or something.

To Tom Green fans, please sign this petition and get all your friends to sign because last thing we need is Tom Green to be the next Jonathan Brandis/Kurt Cobain…and by the looks of him at his G4 appearance, no amount of super-strength rope could hold up that chubby bitch’s body. So please Tom, don’t do it. Hopefully my petition will reach that Hollywood Whore/Wanna-Be Activist in time to save you from your impending doom.

PS- For God sakes man, when you go on TV try to get some sleep the night before. You looked like you had a clit under each eye on “Attack“.

Yours Truly,
-mc80

Say It Ain’t So, Jose!

2005-03-30T19:51:00.000-04:00

The once baddest man on the planet/crazy, wife-beating (x2), nightclub thug poundin’, Madonna-fucking (and other hot blondes), homerun off head bouncing, pulled over doing 125 MPH with unregistered handgun, man who single handedly took out baseball’s steroid double standard and homerun hero, Big Mac, has done something truly embarrassing;

Canseco Hits Reality TV

NEW YORK (AP) — VH1 has selected seven new has-beens to stop being polite and start trying to revive their careers on "The Surreal Life." The fifth season, now in production, will premiere Sept. 4, the cable channel announced Tuesday.

In "The Surreal Life," a group of definitely not A-list celebs are taped 24 hours a day while they live and play together in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills.

The new cast includes "America's Next Top Model" judge Janice Dickinson, former slugger Jose Canseco, Sandi "Pepa" Denton of all-gal rap outfit Salt-n-Pepa, Bronson Pinchot from "Perfect Strangers," Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth from the first season of "The Apprentice," British model Caprice and motorcrosser Carey Hart.

The first two "Surreal Life" seasons debuted on The WB before the show moved to VH1. Past cast members include Flavor Flav, Charo, Ron Jeremy, Verne Troyer and Vanilla Ice.

The Ten Most Significant Beach Boys Songs...

2005-03-30T19:17:00.000-04:00

...and why.

The Beach Boys are without a doubt the most hardcore badasses to ever rock a mic. Now most people only know the Beach Boys from the old clips on Ed Sullivan to their cheesy matching stripped shirts but behind all that fluff there was some serious shit going on. Their lead singer, Mike Love, was a loony bastard, often getting into fist fights with the drummer, Dennis Wilson…who after selling millions of albums and having a blooming solo career died on New Year’s Eve of 1984, homeless and drunk, attempting to retrieve personal items from a marina where his then repo’d boat was once docked. Their lead guitarist Carl Wilson struggled with alcoholism and cocaine abuse for decades until his untimely death at 56 of brain and lung Cancer. Many fans still have memories of seeing Carl perform on stage on a stool and with an oxygen tank. And worst of all was the group’s genius, a man who has been called California’s Mozart, Brian Wilson. Brian suffered from stage fright, panic attacks, drug abuse, depression, and obesity. This man makes The Prince Of Darkness Ozzy Osbourne look like Clay Aiken. Yet, Brian has outlived his brothers and has crushed his disgraced former lead singer Mike Love by winning a Grammy in 2004! The Beach Boys may have come in a close second to the Beatles in the race for greatest band of all-time but nothing takes away from the beautiful music and words Brian Wilson created and his amazing band played.

1. Don't Worry Baby, Shut Down V.2 - This is Brian Wilson’s masterpiece and one of the few songs Brian sang all by himself in the early days of the Beach Boys.

2. I Get Around, All Summer Long - Easily the band’s most famous and recognized song, Mike sings the ‘hip’ lyrics accompanied by Brian’s beautiful falsetto in the chorus.

3. God Only Knows, Pet Sounds - Often overlooked, Carl Wilson’s angelic voice takes charge in this amazing song from the legendary Pet Sounds album.

4. Cabinessense, Smile/unreleased - One can only imagine how much drugs were in Brian’s system at the time of this recording.

5. I Went To Sleep, 20/20 - This song about being inactive is a look into Brian’s life just before he chose to stay in bed for 3 ½ years without ever leaving his room.

6. ‘Til I Die, Surf’s Up - Brian sings alone in this depressing and somewhat creepy song.

7. Surf's Up, Surf’s Up - This song has nothing to do with surfing and is a huge departure from the ‘Fun, Fun, Fun” days.

8. Getcha' Back, Self-Titled - Brian Wilson lost his amazing falsetto in the early 70’s from drug abuse and by the age of 35 sounded like a 76 year old, 3-pack a day smoker…but by some miracle, in 1983, just 6 months before Dennis Wilson’s drowning, managed to regain his falsetto for one song only! This song was a throwback to their old days of Mike singing/rapping, and Brian on chorus. It also happened to be the last song all 5 original members ever performed because as it turns out, Dennis Wilson’s drumming was replaced by a machine for the rest of the songs on their 1983 self-titled album.

9. I Get Around (last performance), Stars And Stripes Vol. 1 -It had been 13 years since Brian, Carl, and Mike got together (1983’s self-titled album) but they managed to stop arguing and suing each other to re-record their vocals on their classic ‘I Get Around’. The lyrics were sung by some country singer no one knows and a few months later Carl Wilson died and the Beach Boys never performed together again.

10. I Just Wasn't Made For These Times, Pet Sounds Live - This is what Brian Wilson sounds like today. It ain’t pretty but it’s real. Play this song after “Don’t Worry Baby” and you will be shocked. This is a man who is incredibly lucky to be alive and knows it.

For more, check out All Music's extensive bio on the Beach Boys.

The Rise And Fall Of Stickyfingaz

2005-03-29T23:10:00.000-04:00

Here’s a tribute to the greatest psycho rapper of all-time, Stickyfingaz. Sticky was riding high on a wave of success after the his group Onyx’s hit single “Slam”. His literally insane lyrics was a breath of fresh air from the usual crap Snoop Doggy Dogg, Ice Cube, and other popular acts of the early 90’s were pumping out. And don’t even get me started on that boring shit coming out of New York. Remember, this was a year and a half before Biggie’s Ready To Die and months before Wu-Tang’s Enter The 36 Chambers.

Just check out some of the lyrics Sticky spit on Onyx’s debut album, BACDAFUCUP, the last two lyrics are from the Judgement Night Soundtrack and Onyx’s second album, All We Got Is Us;

I'm gonna rule the fuckin world, and thats my word
I've got the filthiest shit human ears ever heard
And even if ever wash my mouth out with soap
I'll still be that disgusting and despicable
Unpredictable, liable to flip my lid
My moms dropped me on my head when I was a kid
back then I lost all my marbles, today I lost my job

---------------------

I've come to suck the blood upon the microphone
Gaze deep into my eyes, I'll make you turn to stone
It be, "Night of the Walking Dead" if you don't leave me the hell alone
Cause rap ain't no game when I'm playin for keeps
I live in the Rotten Apple, the city that never sleeps
STOP! You try to steal my style and got to spot it
Niggaz can't get it, cause niggaz ain't got it
I've been a bald head since the, age of ten
Plus I'm a ruthless crook and, I was born in Crooklyn
So a stick up, is a piece of cake for
the kid with the Sticky Fingaz everything I touch I take
So don't make me angry; you won't like me when I'm angry
All that frustration starts to change me
Then I SCREAM! So my voice gets horse
It's time to face the music, and the Red Cross
You can fool some of the people some of the time
The beat is the heart and the words get the mind
I'm livin proof there's no hope of mankind

---------------------

Move back muthafuckaz, the onyx is here!!
My name is sticky fingaz, I’m the nigga in ya nightmare
Forget da crowd cheer, I live off fears, it’s the beast in me!
You get the music that consumes me

I have blood on my knife, and a body on my gun
So listen up son, don’t act wild
Or I’ll crip your style with a bullet and a smile

---------------------

You can’t fuck with the wrong nigga brother
You rather fuck your mother
Plus bust a cap, for her lesbian lover

---------------------

I swear to fuckin God I raise Hell
and make the white man call me MASTER
I'm six-six-six,
And need to repent to the pastor
SO FUCK THE RADIO and close your ears but read my lips
I rips and if you eat my words I'll leave your strung like umm

And if it takes the death of me,
To make history The whole world will remember my misery
I know what I'm tryin to say my words get in the way they render me speechless,
Ohh Black Jesus I'm cryin inside
Couldn't give a FUCK if I live or die cause I'm just a slave who's brave
so fuck pickin cotton,
I'd rather see my grave, so I meditated, before I was created
And if you prefer sorrow,
God made me reincarnated

---------------------

Thinking about taking my own life
I might as well
’cept they might not sell weed in hell
And thats where I’m going
Cause the devil’s inside of me
They make me rob from my own nationality
Its kind of ignorant
But yo I gotta pay the rent
So yeah, I’ll stick a nigga most definite
Cause it’s generate
If I get caught I’m innocent
Cause I don’t leave no sticky finga prints
For the cops
They only good if they dead
All that badge and that gun shit be going to they head
To make bread I gotta steal for sport
So I stole the show and sell some pennies for my thoughts
And if this fucking rap shit don’t pay
I’m a start selling drugs around my way
Killin my own people in the usg
Shit they gonna get it from somebody
I’d rather it be me
Besides...you cant tax dirty money
And you cant trust nobody (nobody)
No one (no one)
I’m the scorpion
And I’ll probably bite the bullet
Cause I live by the gun

---------------------

So that’s a period from 1993 through 1996. Well, if you haven’t heard of Stickyfingaz it’s probably because in a matter of 3 minutes he lost every ounce of street credibility he had. It was an MTV Sports Special which combined extreme sports with bad music acts (Jay Z, DMX, among others). By that time Onyx hadn’t released a new album in three longs years and hadn’t had a hit in 5 but Stickyfingaz was still considered a crazy thug, East Coast’s version of Tupac. That all came to an end when there was a celebrity boxing match pairing Stickyfingaz vs. some skater boi with red hair and flab to match. Jaime Foxx did the announcing, obviously before his Ray fame and Sticky got right in the white’s boy’s face and for a brief moment I thought to myself, ‘yo yo yo this white boy is dead meat, yo!”. Boy was I wrong. That white boy beat the living shit (well, not quite) out of Sticky for three 1 minute rounds and would go on to get the decision.

A few years later Sticky came back with a controversial single “Jacking For Beats 99” in which he dissed everyone from Juvenile to Jay Z but no one could erase that beating from people’s memory including an up and coming artist named 50 Cent. These are lyrics from 'How To Rob An Industry Nigga'...

Tell Sticky gimme the cash before I empty three
or I'll beat your ass like that white boy on MTV

Philosopher-Wannabe Douchebag

2005-03-29T23:02:00.000-04:00

A MSN conversation between yours truly and Tweeq, of Head Wide Open (link to the right).

This is exactly why Head Wide Open is my second favorite Blog on the internet! Sorry but Lenny.cc post nude celebrities on a daily basis.

-mc

I Am Jack's Massive Heart Attack

2005-03-29T01:04:00.000-04:00

MIAMI - Burger King began offering two new breakfast sandwiches Monday, including one that packs more calories and fat than a Whopper.

The Enormous Omelet Sandwich carries 730 calories and 47 grams of fat and comes with two eggs, sausage, three strips of bacon and two slices of melted American cheese on a bun. It's heftier than a Whopper hamburger, which weighs in at 700 calories and 42 grams of fat.

Officials at Miami-based Burger King Corp. said that healthier choices are also available, but surveys showed customers wanted bigger sandwiches.

"By expanding our indulgent breakfast sandwich menu, Burger King restaurants now offer even more alternatives for our guests who want a convenient and filling breakfast," said Russ Klein, Burger King's chief global marketing officer.

The other new breakfast item, the Western Omelet Croissanwich, is a lighter pick with 320 calories and 17 grams of fat. It has fire-grilled onions, ham and melted American cheese inside a folded egg on a croissant.

The omelet sandwich will stay on the menu at about $2.99, but the Western sandwich is in stores until May 8.

Slice A Sexual Predator's Throat

2005-03-26T21:48:00.000-04:00

A few days ago another young girl was abducted from her home. Unfortunately, the search has been called off, a body has been found, and the man accused of abducting her has been arrested. Once again, the guy was a registered sex offender.

If you have children, please check out this website and find out what sexual predator scumbag piece of shits live near you. For all you know, your neighbor could be a sexual predator.

www.sexualpredators.com
----------------------------------------

Cedar Rapids, Ia. - The search for a Cedar Rapids girl was called off Friday shortly after authorities announced two facts: They had arrested a 37-year-old man suspected of taking her from her home, and they had found a body in rural Johnson County.

It was not immediately known whether the body was that of 10-year-old Jetseta Marrie Gage, but it was "possibly of a young female," authorities said.

Roger Paul Bentley was in the Linn County Jail Friday, charged with one count of child stealing.

Jetseta disappeared from her home on Cedar Rapids' northwest side about 8:15 p.m. Thursday while her mother attended classes at a local college and her grandmother was baby-sitting.

Her 7-year-old brother told police that Jetseta left with Bentley, a registered sex offender and a friend of the Gage family.

Bentley, who was convicted in 1994 of lascivious acts with a 7-year-old Benton County child, was at the Gage home most of Thursday, working on the transmission of the family's van.

A statewide alert Amber Alert was issued at 10 p.m. Thursday for Jetseta, who was last seen in an orange coat and purple pants.

Cedar Rapids police asked for the public's help to find Bentley and his 1982 black-and-silver pickup truck.

Police apprehended Bentley at 7 a.m. Friday at a rural residence in Johnson County. The girl's body was apparently found at the same location, a run-down mobile home on a county blacktop five miles southwest of Iowa City. A black-and-silver pickup truck was parked outside.

Investigators cordoned off a large area near the mobile home, set up searchlights, and were still collecting evidence late Friday. Authorities would not say whether Bentley would be further charged or whether he provided information about Jetseta. Bentley's tie to the mobile home was not known, nor was it clear whether anyone lived there. Bentley's most recent address was in Hiawatha.

The Amber Alert, a system of notifying the public about missing children, was canceled Friday afternoon.

Eminem Fans: Still Retarded

2005-03-26T12:01:00.000-04:00

You’ve probably all heard of G-Unit, the greatest, hardest, and most successful rap group of all-time. Not since the day of the legendary Young Black Teenagers has another rap group come out as hard and strong as G-Unit….that is until now!

I would like to introduce the world to the next platinum selling, TRL-topping, legendary hip hop legends, Gangsta Inc. Their hardcore lyrics make Eminem look like…a pink Alf Shit-wearing, MTV Attention Whore, Triumph hiding, wanna be thug. Just check out these amazing lyrics from Gangsta Inc!

This is just the b-ginning - all day we winnin
look at my cash stack homey look at these linins-

I allwayz say 3 lesbians wrote the bible and ya know eminem is my idle
So if ya think of me in descrace i'll brake ya face!!

Did i become because i listen to hip hop?
eminem is my idol lyrics that make yur heart stop
i started to MC and freestyle when i was bored
writ a whole rap when i was even pre-sured
re-assured people about white rappers thoughts
sitting in corners of classrooms with books in my pile
to freestyling in lines and gathering crowds while,
jelousy creept in an i was startin some beef
squashed it so fast it hurted ma feet

It’s amazing….they say everything we were too scared to say! I always wondered if the three authors of the Bible were lesbians but NEVER would I have the balls to write a song about it. Respect to Gangsta Inc.!

G-Unit, Eminem, and Dr. Dre….watch out...Gangsta Inc. is about to put a foot up in yo ass!

No More Terry Shiavo Please!

2005-03-25T00:28:00.000-04:00

I’ve been unemployed for 6 days now and to be honest I haven’t exactly been keeping busy. I didn’t even bother filling out any applications in person. I filled out a select few applications through company websites but mostly I stayed home watching TV, playing Xbox, and surfing the web. I feel like a complete loser. Well, tomorrow I begin my new job…while it’s not as exciting as working at the Medical Examiner’s office (and being on TV almost weekly!)…it could provide some excitement. My new job is as a driver for a very busy escort service minutes away from the beach of Ft. Lauderdale.

Basically I work 12 hours and get $30 dollars per call. I’ve been told the average is 3-4 calls a night which is excellent. If I work 7 nights a week, which would be easy and get 3.5 calls…that’s over $700 a week! After a while I’ll see if I can talk them into being the company’s webmaster. Have you seen some escort’s websites? They are simple and plain and usually just a couple of pages. I could do much better without even trying! Maybe I could turn a crushing blow to my ego and wallet (losing my job) into a new and exciting, not to mention fun cash flow. After working 3 ½ years picking up dead people I can’t just go back to being Johnny-Warehouse Guy or worse. I’m now addicted to working in unusual and different jobs. I mean, after seeing the end results of jumping off a 20 story building, shotgun suicides, car fatalities, etc… (and having to clean up)…I can’t go back to working in some depressing and boring warehouse.

Eazy-E, Jesus, And God…

2005-03-22T23:05:00.000-04:00

So last night I decided to drown my recent sorrows in some Chronic and Vodka. After all, I haven’t had two days off in a row in something like 3 ½ years so I figured I deserved it. Well, either I had a bit too much or I had an encounter with the almighty! Oh yeah, God and Jesus were there too.

We were in a dark room…all I could see was three men. Jesus was on the left and God on the right, although I really couldn’t get a look at his face…there was a bright light shining on it. Eazy Muthafuckin’ E was in the middle and he was the only one who spoke.

Eazy- My soul has been wondering the Earth for a decade now. I won’t be able to enter Heaven until I redeem my sins.

Mc80- What sins are those, Eric?

Eazy- Bone Thugs N Harmony.

Mc80- Forget it man! They haven’t had a decent album since Art Of War and that’s exactly what it was---decent.

Eazy- Really? God damn. In that case….Dr. Dre is still a faggot.

…and with that, Eazy disappeared…along with Jesus and God, which for some odd reason closely resembled BG Knockout and Gangsta Dresta. I feel that it is my duty to remind the world that Dr. Dre is a fag so here you go, Eric!

These pictures are from Dr. Dre’s days with the World Class Wrecking Crew!

I Ain’t Scared Of No Eminem!

2005-03-22T21:56:00.000-04:00

I was whorin’ at the IMDB.com message boards this morning when I ran into a topic with a link to a website showing new pictures of Eminem’s daughter Haylie. If you’ve seen the new Em’ video Mockingbird (and whacked off to Kim’s fat ass like me) you’ve noticed that he only shows pictures of a baby Haylie and blocks out her face in the most recent footage of her. Why you ask? Could it be because she looks like Beans from Even Stevens?

Eminem once threatened to kill Everlast for mentioning Haylie’s name in a battle song (Whitey’s Revenge- download it at once)….so here I go; Eminem, you’re daughter looks like Beans! Whatcha gonna do, white boy? Diss me on a record and leak it to the internet?

PS- If I this turns out to be my last post ever…it’s because I’ve been gunned down by G-Unit and possibly ass-raped by Dr. Dre.

Who Did I Piss Off?

2005-03-21T00:43:00.000-04:00

Alright….show yourself god damn it! I don’t know if it’s karma, fate, or the devil but someone or something has been fucking with me for the last four months. Now, I’ll always been troubled from the time I turned 11 and by the time I was 21 I had over 20 jobs on my resume, none of which I worked at for more than 8 months so I thought I had finally struck gold in the funeral home where I had worked at for 3 years. Sure, I complained but I made a shit load of money and made a few good friends along the way. So you can imagine how distraught I was when the fired me for having too many points on my license in December.

Less than a week later my beautiful and kind grandmother was on her way to work at 6 AM when some punk piece of shit driving home from a party in a 2004 Jetta drove her off the road and into a lake. According to her, she lost consciousness soon after being thrown out and when she awoke she was in ICU at Cleveland Clinic Hospital. She almost didn’t make it and it was a hell of a scare for me. It’s been almost 4 months but she is still in pain and has to see a therapist because of reoccurring nightmares.

This February I started a new, dream job working at the medical examiner’s office picking up suicide’s, homicide’s, floaters (bodies found in lakes, etc.), car wrecks, and decomps (bodies found days, weeks after death). Not only was this my dream job (good money, lots of cool privileges) but I got to work with a beautiful blonde whom I’ve admired since my first day at the funeral home. I’ve had a crush on this woman since 2002 and when I finally break through the wall (and I did)…I get fired over some petty shit that everyone else does. This happened on Friday. And I didn’t even get her damn number yet!

Now today my mom was driving back from Miami when a dumb motherfucker slammed into her car and sent her to the E.R. with what appears to be at the very least a broken leg. How am I going to help pay the bills unemployed and with this economy/lack of jobs? So whoever it is fucking with my life…fuck you.

God damn voodoo Jesus motherfuckers.

Special Edition!

2005-03-11T17:39:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Anchor Bay Entertainment, April 19, 2005 will be a day that will never be forgotten. You see, on that day that the greatest film to be ever made comes to DVD in Special Edition form!

If you grew up in the 80’s like I did then Corey Haim and Corey Feldman are our generation’s Brando and…Jerry Lewis? License To Drive stars cuddly Haim as a slacker teen who fails his driving test but still takes out his dream date (named Volvo or something) in his grandfather’s car. Hilarity ensues.

Make sure to pick this up next month at your local Best Buy and while you’re there get Dream A Little Dream on DVD as well. Shit, they might even be giving that one away for free.

On a final note…I haven’t exactly been updating this Blog as of late. Not my fault, but my bosses. I’ve been at a new job for just under a month and he’s working me extremely hard. That sounded GAY. So I don’t have much time to go online except for my days off. So if you’re into active Blogs, check out these great ones;

Byron Crawford

Lenny.cc

Still Waiting For The New GNR Album?

2005-03-05T21:24:00.000-04:00

If you were as blown away by Appetitive For Destruction in the late 80’s as I was…you are probably STILL waiting for new material from Guns N’ Roses, or should I say Axl Roses. Yeah, Spagetti Incident? sucked and I know because I paid $5.99 for it at a used CD store and “Oh My God” from the forgettable End Of Days soundtrack was just so-so……well here’s some new information about the very long awaited Chinese Democracy album that’s been in the works for over a decade.

Axl still can’t touch Brian Wilson’s Smile which is still unreleased after close to 40 years (that live album really doesn’t count).

Success, excess and a music industry phantom

By Jeff Leeds The New York Times
Saturday, March 5, 2005
WEST HOLLYWOOD, California In the faint red light of the Rainbow Bar and Grill, Tom Zutaut sips at his drink and spills a bit of regret. It has been 19 years since he signed the then-unknown rock band Guns N' Roses to a contract with Geffen Records, where they turned into multiplatinum superstars. Back in those days, the Rainbow was their hangout of choice.

Years after he left the label, he returned in 2001 to try to coax Axl Rose, the band's magnetic leader and by then its only original member, into completing one of the most highly anticipated albums in the industry: an opus tentatively titled "Chinese Democracy." The deadline for turning in the album had passed two years earlier.

"I really thought I could get him to deliver the record," said Zutaut, who spent nine months trying. "And we got close."

He is speaking in relative terms. Zutaut is but one of a long series of executives and producers brought in over the years to try to conjure up the maddeningly elusive album - to cajole the reclusive rock star into composing, singing, recording, just showing up.

Like everyone else who had tried, or has tried since, Zutaut came away empty-handed.

Rose began work on the album in 1994, recording in fits and starts with an ever-changing roster of musicians, marching through at least three recording studios, four producers and a decade of music business turmoil. The singer, whose management said he could not be reached for comment for this article, went through turmoil of his own during that period, battling lawsuits and personal demons, retreating from the limelight only to be followed by gossip about his rumored interest in plastic surgery and "past-life regression" therapy.

Along the way, he has racked up more than $13 million in production costs, according to Geffen documents, ranking the album as probably the most expensive recording never released.

As the production has dragged on, it has revealed one of the music industry's basic weaknesses: The more record companies rely on proven stars like Rose, the less it can control them.

It's a story that applies to the creation of almost every major album. But in the case of "Chinese Democracy," it has a stark ending: The singer who cast himself as a master of predatory Hollywood in the hit song "Welcome to the Jungle" has come to be known instead as the keeper of the industry's most notorious white elephant.

At the stroke of midnight on Sept. 17, 1991, Guns N' Roses was the biggest band in the world. Hundreds of record stores had stayed open late or reopened to cash in on the first sales that night of "Use Your Illusion," Vols. 1 and 2, the band's new twin albums. On the strength of that promotion - and the coattails of the band's blockbuster 1987 debut - the band set a record: For the first time in rock history, two albums from one act opened at Nos. 1 and 2 on Billboard's U.S. album sales chart.

But by 1994 their fortunes had changed. After years of drug addiction, lyric controversies, onstage tantrums and occasional fan riots, their members had started to drift away, their lead singer had become bogged down in lawsuits, and their collection of cover versions of classic punk songs titled "The Spaghetti Incident?" had been released to mixed reviews and disappointing sales.

The members of the band - what was left of it - reconvened at the Complex, a Los Angeles studio, in a massive soundstage with a pool table and a Guns N' Roses-themed pinball machine, to prepare for their next album, which Geffen executives expected to release some time the following year. But they quickly began suffering from an ailment that has proved fatal to bands from time immemorial: boredom.

"They had enough money that they didn't have to do anything," said a longtime observer of the band, one of the 30 people involved with the album who spoke for this article. He spoke on the condition of anonymity, as did many others who had signed a confidentiality agreement while working with Rose. "You couldn't get everyone in the room at the same time."

Rose had appointed himself the leader of the project, but he didn't seem to know where to lead. As Slash, the band's longtime guitarist, said recently, in reference to the singer's songwriting style: "It seemed like a dictatorship. We didn't spend a lot of time collaborating. He'd sit back in the chair, watching. There'd be a riff here, a riff there. But I didn't know where it was going."

Geffen Records was riding toward an uncertain destiny as well; its founder, David Geffen, retired, and its corporate parent, MCA, was sold to the liquor giant Seagram, led by Edgar Bronfman Jr. With all those changes swirling, and with old Guns N' Roses material still ringing up millions in new sales, executives decided to leave the band alone to write and record.

A cover of the Rolling Stones hit "Sympathy for the Devil," however, which was released as part of a movie soundtrack, would be the last addition to the original band's catalogue. Slash quit the band in 1996; the drummer Matt Sorum and the bassist Duff McKagan were the next to go. Of the founding members, that left just Rose.

But instead of starting something new, he chose to keep the band's name and repopulate it with new musicians. Geffen Records wasn't in much of a position to deny him. The label was on a cold streak and wagered that fans would still flock to the singer, even if a band had to be rebuilt around him.

The label wasn't in much of a position to prod him forward, either. In 1997 Todd Sullivan, who was then a talent executive for the company, sent Rose a sampling of CDs produced by different people and encouraged him to choose one to work on "Chinese Democracy." Sullivan says he received a call informing him that Rose had run over the albums with a car.

The singer had encouraged everyone in the band's camp to record their ideas for riffs and jams, hours and hours of song fragments that he hoped to process into full compositions.

"Most of the stuff he had played me was just sketches," Sullivan recalled. "I said, 'Look, Axl, this is some really great, promising stuff here. Why don't you consider just bearing down and completing some of these songs?' He goes, 'Hmm, bear down and complete some of these songs?' Next day I get a call from Eddie" - Eddie Rosenblatt, the Geffen chairman - "saying I was off the project."

Around the start of 1998 Rose moved the band that he had assembled to Rumbo Recorders, a three-room studio deep in the San Fernando Valley where Guns N' Roses had recorded parts for its blockbuster debut, "Appetite for Destruction." The crew turned the studio into a rock star's playground: tapestries, green and yellow lights, state-of-the-art computer equipment and as many as 60 guitars at the ready, according to people involved in the production. But Rose wasn't there for fun and games. "What Axl wanted to do," one recording expert who was there recalls, "was to make the best record that had ever been made."

As time and dollars flew by, pressure mounted at Geffen. The label's dry spell lingered, making it more dependent than ever on new music from heavy hitters. The label paid Rose $1 million to press on with the album, with the unusual promise of another $1 million if he delivered "Chinese Democracy" by March 1 of the following year. Geffen also offered one of the producers Rose had hired extra royalties if the recording came in before that.

He never collected. The producer, who goes by the name Youth (his real name is Martin Glover), started visiting the singer in the pool room of his secluded Malibu estate, to try to help him focus on composing. But that collaboration didn't go any better than his predecessors' had. "He kind of pulled out, said 'I'm not ready,"' Youth said. "He was quite isolated. There weren't very many people I think he could trust. It was very difficult to penetrate the walls he'd built up."

Youth's replacement was Sean Beavan - a producer who had worked with industrial-rock acts like Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails - and under his care the riffs and song fragments that the band had recorded slowly began to take shape. But costs were spiraling out of control. The crew rented one piece of specialized equipment, for example, for more than two years - at a cost well into six figures - and used it for perhaps 30 days, according to a person involved with the production.

Rose appeared sporadically, some weeks just one or two days, some weeks not at all. "It was unorganized chaos," the same person said. "There was never a system to this. And in between, there were always parties to go to, different computers Axl was trying out or buying. There were times when we didn't record things for weeks."

So the studio technicians burned as many as five CDs a week with various mixes of different songs, which were driven to Malibu for Rose to study. The band's archive of recorded material swelled to include more than 1,000 digital audio tapes and other media, according to people who were there at the time, all elaborately labeled to chart the progress of songs. "It was like the Library of Congress in there," said one production expert who spent time on the album there.

By one count, the band kept roughly 20 songs it considered on the A list and an additional 40 or so in various stages of completion on the B list.

All that material, however, didn't do much to reassure the label. "In 1998 and 1999 you start getting a little bit nervous," Rosenblatt, the executive who led the outfit after David Geffen's departure, said delicately.

In January 1999 Seagram restructured its music division, firing 110 Geffen employees, including Rosenblatt, and folding the unit into the corporation's bigger Interscope Records division.

When Rose missed a March 1999 deadline, however, he set a pattern that would repeat itself for years to come: a flurry of energetic activity, followed by creative chaos and a withdrawal from the studio.

If Rose appeared more remote, his vision of the project became more grandiose, people involved with the band said. He now spoke of releasing not merely one album but a trilogy. And he planned one very big surprise.

At MTV's annual awards show in 2002, publicists buzzed through the audience whispering about a big finale. And with just minutes to go in the broadcast, a screen lifted away to reveal the band and Rose, in cornrows and a sports jersey, looking strikingly young. The musicians burst into "Welcome to the Jungle," one of the original band's biggest hits, and the crowd went wild. But on television Rose quickly seemed out of breath and out of tune. He ended the performance, which included the new song "Madagascar" and the original band's hit "Paradise City," in a messianic stance, raising his arms and closing his eyes. He left the audience with a cryptic but tantalizing message: "Round one."

Round two never came.

Rose is reportedly working on the album even now. "The 'Chinese Democracy' album is very close to being completed," Merck Mercuriadis, chief executive officer of Sanctuary Group, which manages Rose, wrote in a statement. He added that other artists, including Peter Gabriel and Stevie Wonder, "have throughout their careers consistently taken similar periods of time without undeserved scrutiny as the world respects that this is what it can sometimes take to make great art." But of course, rumors of the album's imminent release have circulated since almost the very beginning of the tale, more than a decade ago.

At the center of that tale, now as then, is the confounding figure of Axl Rose himself. A magnetic talent, a moody unpredictable artist, a man of enormous ideas and confused follow-through, he has proved himself to be an uncontrollable variable in any business plan.

His involvement on "Chinese Democracy" has outlasted countless executives, producers and fellow musicians - even the corporate structure that first brought the band to worldwide celebrity. Even, in fact, the recognizable configuration of the recording industry as a whole, which since the band first went into the studio in 1994 has consolidated to four major corporations from six and staggered amid an epidemic of piracy, leaving it more focused than ever on the bottom line, and on reliable musicians with a proven track record of consistent performance.

The sort of rock stars that the original members of Guns N' Roses, who recently submitted a claim seeking $6 million in what were called unpaid royalties from its catalogue, used to be, but which Rose, with his mood swings, erratic work habits and long dark stretches, no longer is.

He hasn't disappeared entirely. His voice can be heard on the latest edition in the "Grand Theft Auto" video game series, in the character of a grizzled '70s-style rock D.J. "Remember," he advises the radio station's audience, "we're not outdated, and neither is our music."

Interscope has taken "Chinese Democracy" off its schedule. Rose hasn't been seen there since last year, when he was spotted leaving the parking area beneath Interscope's offices, where witnesses reported that a small traffic jam had congealed when attendants halted other cars to clear a path for his silver Ferrari. Rose punched the gas and cruised into the day.

Cansecogate 2005 Coming To An End?

2005-03-03T21:25:00.000-04:00

Dan Le Batard once again comes through on another excellent article on Jose Canseco. He published a great article weeks before Jose announced his retirement in 2002 after months of playing in the minor leagues! How degrading it must have been for the once best player in baseball to be stuck playing with kids almost 20 years younger than him.

Anyways, here’s his latest article on why Jose Canseco is so bitter.

Never a dull moment when Canseco speaks

DAN LE BATARD

dlebatard@herald.com

I've covered Jose Canseco's career from its movie-star start to its minor-league finish. During the past two decades, I've talked to him in clubhouses, weight rooms, nightclubs and hospitals about everything: the difficulties of marriage, his discomfort with fame, the entanglements of therapy and his contemplating suicide. He always seemed as relentlessly lost as he was relentlessly interesting.

Why is he taking a bat to baseball now? Maybe his sole reason is a need for money, and maybe Mike Greenwell will soon be able to buy that 1988 MVP trophy he so covets on Ebay.

But maybe Canseco is taking a bat to his game in a 'roid rage because he doesn't particularly like what it did to his life.

Here's the book on Canseco, in his own words:

''I think I'm the best all-around player in the major leagues. Best player in the world, hands down, period.'' -- July 1988.

''I'm kind of busy at the moment.'' -- January 1991, upon being approached by a fan for an autograph while standing at a urinal.

''I'm tired of making these [expletive] fans celebrities.'' -- July 1991, after arguing with a fan while in the on-deck circle.

''I love kids because they are innocent. They haven't been exposed to the harsh world like adults. They don't incorporate the money I make into how they judge me. They don't know what a million dollars is.'' -- August 1991, after taking 33 kids he just met to breakfast.

''I was a nerd.'' -- January 1993, on never having a date in high school.

''I see myself as a common person. I watch cartoons just like everyone else.'' -- January 1993.

''I don't understand the perception people have of me. They think I'm this monster, the bad boy, this womanizer or Don Juan. I'm very shy and quiet. I guess a lot of people take that for arrogance. It hurts. It's unfair. Easier to hate a villain, I guess.'' -- January 1993.

''I'm numb to it -- immune almost. So many bad things are said about me, I've stopped trying to understand.'' -- July 1993.

'Society is going down the drain. Sex and violence is the most interesting thing. It sells papers to suggest I'm sleeping with Madonna, even if I have a wife and it might hurt us. They don't care about me. This is the attitude of the newspapers: `Look, we're hurting him. We're stepping on his neck. But look how it sells. Screw him.' '' -- July 1993.

''I'd like to go through a season without controversy.'' -- January 1994.

'When you are little, especially when you are Latin, you are told, `Men don't cry. Men don't cry. Men don't cry.' You have to hide your hurt. You can't show weakness. So I would go back to a [hotel] room, lock the door and cry by myself. Nobody would see me cry, not ever. Nobody. I'm human. I can be overwhelmed, too.'' -- March 1994.

''That was just the tip of the iceberg. The rest would fill a book.'' -- March 1994, on an argument with his wife that escalated into him ramming his Porsche into her BMW.

''For happiness, I would take poverty. In the state of depression I was in, it was poverty, anyway. Poverty of the mind. That's the worst kind.'' -- March 1994, on therapy.

''There is a sadness there. I wish people liked me more, but it is so hard to erase a label. People think I'm the biggest jerk on the planet, people I don't even know. If people got to know me, they would like me. But I don't get to socialize with millions. I wish everyone who has an opinion of me could be made into one person, and I wish I could spend a couple of days with that person.'' -- March 1994.

''Self-preservation.'' -- April 1994, on his reasons for not dating.

''The immune system can't fight at that age. They need too much artificial help. God, some of the things I've seen on these visits. It hurts the heart. But it's worth it if you can bring just a little laughter, right?'' -- December 1994, holding a dying baby's hand during a hospital visit.

''I want to have the best season in the history of baseball.'' -- December 1994.

''I've gotten rid of the clouds in my life, and I'm as happy as I've ever been. You know how long it has been since I've been happy? I can't even remember being happy -- that's how long it has been.'' -- December 1994.

''Success hurt me. Celebrity can be a burden and a curse. I didn't ask for it. It was thrust upon me. And I wasn't ready for it.'' -- September 1995.

''A monster like Mark McGwire comes along once in a millennium. Mark is the best power hitter ever.'' -- July 1998.

''I'm 6-4, 250 pounds, swinging a 36-length, 34-ounce bat through the zone, and if I hit the ball square, the ball is just completely overpowered and everyone knows it. It's going at least 500 feet.'' -- April 1999.

''Cost me at least 100 homers -- the psychological disabled list.'' -- April 1999, on his second divorce.

''I'm more confused than ever.'' -- April 1999, on therapy.

``This is very hurtful, very stressful, very depressing, very demeaning, OK? I'm in shock, OK? Complete and utter shock. I can't believe or understand why nobody will take a guy who will give them 40 or 50 homers a year, guaranteed. It's shocking, terrifying, depressing. I've heard from top players in the game that I'm being blackballed and conspired against. Every player knows it. The truth has to come out eventually.

Why? Why? Why? It'll all come out in the in end. The players, who are the blood and bones of the game, know the truth of the story. I do know more than what I can tell you, but we'll leave something for the end.

There will be a story to tell later. Maybe in a book, I'll tell the truth.'' -- April 2002, while in the minor leagues.

GOD DAMNED NERDS!

2005-02-25T19:51:00.000-04:00

I won’t try even try to deny it…I had the first Limp Bizkit album. There. I said it.

Ever since that album, Fred Durst has been the cancer in the brain of pop culture. His lyrics are downright horrible and don’t even get me started on his singing voice (it’s more of a whine). He then went on to brag about sleeping with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera (both denied it-and I believe it)…and now this.

Well, some internet wizard (and I mean that) went and hacked his phone not unlike the Paris Hilton hacking which exposed the heiress’ celebrity phone list plus some lesbian nude make-out sessions.

Unfortunately for us, this hacking exposed a Fred Durst porno. And all you hear from online discussion forums is ‘OH MY GOD HE HAS A HAIRY STOMACH…YUK!”. No shit he has a hairy stomach…he’s not Ricky Martin or some other fag. These comments come from people who spend 90% of the day on a computer bashing anything and anyone in site.

I for one say to whoever is doing these hackings…please continue. I can’t wait for the Hilary Duff lesbian sex tape.

*crosses fingers*

AOL Geek Threatens Jose

2005-02-24T21:51:00.000-04:00

As if AOL members weren’t already the outcast of the online world, one big fat geek goes and pulls this stunt.

Jose Canseco the target of death threat

NEW YORK -- Two weeks after the publication of his tell-all book, "Juiced," Jose Canseco has alienated himself from most of the close-knit fraternity of baseball.

But while the bulky former slugger and admitted steroid user has shrugged off criticism from former teammates and opponents, this week he confronted a far more serious matter: a death threat.

Canseco received the threat via an E-mail to his Web site, where he is currently selling everything from autographed copies of his book to signed game jerseys.

"We alerted the FBI and they believe it was a credible threat," said Canseco's attorney, Robert Saunooke.

Saunooke was at a New York midtown Barnes & Noble on Wednesday for his client's book signing but wouldn't go into the E-mail's contents.

"We know the E-mail comes from an AOL account, but the FBI won't tell us which region of the country," he said. "The local branch of the FBI in that area is investigating the matter."

If Canseco was worried, he wasn't showing it Wednesday. Dressed in a short-sleeved silk white tuxedo shirt, blue blazer, jeans and shades, the one-time Yankee and "Bash Brother" beamed for photos before holding court at the rear of the store.

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

2005-02-19T21:09:00.000-04:00

I just had to take a minute away from Cansecogate 2005 and watching cheap, B-Movies starring Andrew McCarthy to post this gruesome, disgusting, nightmare inducing photograph. NO, NO I’m not talking about Tara Reid’s deformed nipple, this is something straight out of South Park!

Clemens Fires Back At Jose!

2005-02-19T11:05:00.000-04:00

ROGER'S BRUSHBACK

February 19, 2005 -- KISSIMMEE — Wearing a green hunting cap after his first Astros workout of 2005, Roger Clemens yesterday went on a counterattack against Jose Canseco.

Clemens said he hasn't spoken with Canseco, but has talked to mutual friends.

"I tease them that when you're under house arrest and you have ankle bracelets on, you have a lot of time to write a book," Clemens said, referring to Canseco's controversial book, "Juiced" — and the fact Canseco spent time under house arrest after violating probation for a 2001 nightclub brawl.

The seven-time Cy Young Award winner also insinuated Canseco was an ingrate. Clemens said he "went to bat" for Canseco in order to bring him aboard as a teammate with the Red Sox and Blue Jays.

Although Clemens' agent, Randy Hendricks, recently denied the steroid allegation Canseco made against the Rocket in the book, the pitcher yesterday didn't take the initiative and argue his innocence. Instead, he brusquely ended talk on the subject after five steroid-related questions.

The 42-year-old, beginning his second season with Houston, wouldn't address the steroids topic before arriving at camp. And during a 28-minute interview with print and TV reporters at Houston's spring training complex, Clemens limited talk of steroids to about three minutes.

Canseco and Clemens were teammates with the Red Sox from 1995-96, with the Blue Jays in 1998 and with the Yankees in 2000. Clemens said Canseco's motivation was perhaps financial because he might be "hurting for money."

"I went to bat for Josey a long time ago — and many times for different teams," Clemens said. "I knew him when he was arrogant and wouldn't sign autographs for even us, but I also knew him in his softer side."

Asked if he and Canseco were still friends, Clemens snapped: "I'm not going to comment on that anymore. I'm done with it. What I just said is it.

"Don't ask me any more questions about steroids or Canseco. I think his book is doing well enough."

The steroids topic was initially broached when someone pointed out that Canseco's briskly selling book was overshadowing spring training.

"I could care less," Clemens said. "I think if you focus on the negative, it could be a negative or a distraction for baseball."

Clemens was asked if he found it offensive that people could dismiss his rigorous workout regimen with finger-pointing accusations of steroids.

"Could care less. I worry about my health," said Clemens, adding he is concerned he can no longer use Vioxx, an anti-inflammatory that was taken off the market due to life-threatening side effects.

Social Decline Reviews: JUICED

2005-02-18T16:40:00.000-04:00

Well, I finally got around to reading Jose’s book, JUICED (Wild Times, Rampant ‘Roids, Smash Hits, And How Baseball Got BIG). Overall it was a very entertaining, informative read. I’ve always been a fan of Jose but since he admitted to steroid use in 2002 I’ve been nonpartisan. This book goes into great detail about his introduction of steroids into the game in the late 80’s, his sex life (including Madonna!), the failed marriages and criminal problems, and even a way too scary suicide attempt!

I would recommend this book to ANY current or former baseball fan, as well as anyone who is looking for an entertaining read on a very unique character. The book is less than 300 pages but has some very nice color photos. Retail Price:$25.95 but Barnes And Noble has it on sale! Get your copy today.

Sorry for the short review but I have to watch Mannequin now.

Let's Not Forget Ken Caminiti

2005-02-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

Amid all the controversy surrounding Cansecogate 2005, we are forgetting the second player to ever admit to using steroids, the first is Canseco, and like Jose, Caminiti also had an M.V.P award under his belt.

Tragically, away from baseball Ken Caminiti could not keep out of trouble and died very young, last year.

For a fallen star's sake, time for steroid cheats to
come clean

The guy was all over the place talking about steroids,
how they helped make him a star. Even when he talked
about the price he paid afterward, the toll on his
body, he turned right around and said he'd do it all
over again. Almost like it was the drugs still doing
the talking.

"I got really strong, really quick," the guy said. "I
pulled a lot of muscles. I broke down a lot. I'm still
paying for it. My muscles got too strong for my
tendons and ligaments. And now my body's not producing
testosterone."

"Look at all the money in the game," the guy said. "A
kid got $252 million. So I can't say, 'Don't do it,'
not when the guy next to you is as big as a house and
he's going to take your job and make the money."

The guy said, "It's no secret what's going on in
baseball. At least half the guys are using (steroids).
They talk about it. They joke about it with each
other...I've got nothing to hide."

"I've made a ton of mistakes," the guy finally said.
"I don't think using steroids is one of them."

In light of the allegations that Jose Canseco will
make about steroids and steroid users in a new book,
you'd like to ask the guy responsible for these quotes
about steroids what he has to say now. The problem is
that the guy's name was Ken Caminiti. He talked and
talked about steroids to Tom Verducci of Sports
Illustrated three years ago. Now Caminiti has died, at
least partly for his sins.

Caminiti got shouted down at the time. The reaction to
his comments in Sports Illustrated so overwhelmed the
former MVP (National League, 1996) that he backed off
some of the things he said, even suggested that he'd
never claimed 50% of the players were cheating with
performance-enhancing drugs. And it was easy for
everybody to claim Caminiti's version of things was
suspect, because he turned out to be a drug addict,
one who did jail time and finally died of a heart
attack after a lost weekend in the Bronx last year.

Now here comes Canseco, allegedly saying he helped
inject Mark McGwire with steroids, allegedly naming
other players like Jason Giambi. They will come after
Canseco even harder than they did Caminiti, because
Canseco was always a clown and a creep, even when he
was hitting home runs out of sight.

Sandy Alderson, who ran the A's when McGwire and
Canseco were the Bash Brothers, has questioned
Canseco's credibility. Tony La Russa, manager of both
Canseco and McGwire in Oakland in the late 1980s and
early '90s, issued a statement that, while not an
outright denial of Canseco's allegations, certainly
made you remember that La Russa is the only big-league
manager with a law degree.

But is Canseco making it all up? Take everybody else
out of the conversation for now, limit it to just
Canseco, Giambi, the sainted McGwire. Canseco freely
admits to using steroids himself. According to the San
Francisco Chronicle, Jason Giambi admitted to a grand
jury that he used steroids to become a better
ballplayer because he thought that's what everybody
else was doing. Sounding more like Caminiti than
Caminiti.

So Canseco says he did it and Giambi tells a grand
jury he did it. So he's telling the truth about
himself and Giambi but lying only about McGwire? How
does logic like that work?

Even if Canseco did inject McGwire with steroids, even
if McGwire kept taking them until he hit 70 home runs,
McGwire will never admit it. He will say that this is
America, and you're not supposed to be guilty until
proven innocent, and the strongest stuff he ever took
was androstenedione, and if somebody has a positive
drug test on him, he ought to come forward or leave
him alone.

We hear that McGwire hit 49 home runs in 1987, his
second year in the big leagues, when he was still a
big skinny kid, and nobody asked him about steroids
then. People are right about '87. Nobody asked him.
Even if it wouldn't be until nine years later that he
went to hit 52 home runs. Then 58. Then 70. Before too
long, his body started to break down, and McGwire was
gone from baseball and on the golf course. Now we
really only hear from him when he has to answer some
kind of steroid allegation.

"I have always told the truth," McGwire told the Daily
News over the weekend, "and I am saddened that I
continue to face this line of questioning."

There is no reason for him to admit he was a cheat at
a time when the game was filled with cheaters.

He was the man who broke Roger Maris' home run record,
who held off Sammy Sosa in what seemed to be a magic
home run summer of 1998, when we were all more excited
by the size of the home-run totals for McGwire and
Sammy Sosa than we were about the size of their
biceps.

McGwire is on his way to the Hall of Fame and he's not
going to do something stupid - come clean the way
Giambi allegedly did - when it can be his word against
Jose Canseco's from now until the end of time.

You want to know what really ought to make Mark
McGwire sad? That an awful lot of people believe a
creep like Jose Canseco more than they believe him.
The way we should have believed the late Ken Caminiti.

Jose's Former Teammates Speak Out!

2005-02-09T22:45:00.000-04:00

These excerpts were taken from news stories all across the United States and are direct quotes from some of Jose Canseco’s former teammates.

Former Athletics Catcher Terry Steinbach

"If you look at his track record and what he has done
the last five or six years, you shouldn't be surprised
he'd do this type of thing," said Steinbach, who
played with Canseco for eight years.

"I never saw syringes," said Steinbach, one of the
most respected players on the A's teams of the late
1980s and early 1990s. "I never saw guys shooting up.
I was lifting like all our team was. If you assume
what Jose says is true, there must have been syringes
and bottles all over. I never saw it. I don't know
where Jose is coming from."

"He's a guy who at one point had all the potential in
the world and could do anything he wanted in the
game," Steinbach said.

Still, Steinbach swears Canseco deserved to win a Gold
Glove for his work in right field in 1988. Steinbach
admired how Canseco took extra outfield practice in
stadiums like Fenway Park and the Metrodome that year
in order to learn how to play caroms.

That all changed after he signed his first big
contract.

"Most players believe you can't cheat the game,"
Steinbach said. "If you think you don't have to work
at it, the game will come back and bite you. In Jose's
case, it caught up with him."

"Doesn't he have any respect for his teammates, for
the game, respect for anybody?" Steinbach asked. "He's
defaming the game. Wasn't there anybody in baseball
who made a difference in his life?"

---------------------------------

Former Rookie of the Year Walt Weiss

"Looking back at those times, Mac and Jose didn't
really spend a lot of time together. There was that
whole Bash Brother thing, but they rarely, if ever,
spent time together away from the field. It's not like
they were close or anything like that."

"During that time, I worked out with Mac frequently,"
Weiss said. "In spring training, we'd have to get to
the field about 8 a.m., which is really early for
baseball players, but he and I would meet regularly at
6 in the morning at a local gym. This was at a time
before they had weight rooms in every big-league
clubhouse. He was incredibly dedicated to his craft."

Canseco was not as dedicated, but Weiss calls him the
most talented player he ever played with or against or
has seen since he retired.

"I'm saying in terms of ability, the separation
between Jose and everybody else during that time made
him the greatest player I'd ever seen," Weiss said.

"It's tough for me to say anything negative about Jose
because he was so good to me and my family," Weiss
said. "He always treated me well. But publicly putting
a black mark on people, I disagree with that."

---------------------------------

Former Cy Young Award Winner Dave Stewart

"When people started hearing about the book a year ago,
there was a little talk about it but not a lot," he
says. "I'm not shocked that this book is coming out --
he's been talking about it for a while -- I'm just
shocked about some of the names that are included.
There's been a rule in baseball, that what you do in
the clubhouse and ballpark stays there. There should
be anger and people who are pissed off when this book
comes out."

Adds Stewart, "I don't know Jose to be a liar, that's
not one thing I'd call him. I liked him off the field,
but I didn't like him as a teammate. He didn't work
very hard at the game, he didn't really like baseball
all that much. He had an "I don't give a damn"
attitude. But that doesn't mean I can call him a liar.
What he's saying, I can't deny it or verify it. We
weren't in the same circles, and he probably knows
what's going on in his circle. But he better be right.
If this is made up, he'll suffer some serious
damages."

---------------------------------

Cansecogate 2005: The Tide Is Turning

2005-02-09T22:19:00.000-04:00

48 hours after former MVP and current criminal Jose Canseco ratted out former teammates, Mark McGwire, Jason Giambi, Juan Gonzalez, Rafael Palmeiro, and Ivan Rodriguez as steroid users it seemed as if everyone in the world including the President of the United States (!) began to bash Jose and his lack of credibility. Everyone pretty much ignored the allegations despite the fact that Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, and the now stiff Ken Caminiti admitted to taking steroids. Instead, everyone laughed at Jose for his past indiscretions like being pulled over in his Porsche going 120 MPH, or driving his ex-wife’s vehicle off the road, or engaging in a bar brawl which resulted in one man getting over 50 stitches, or having a ball bounce of his head while a member of the Texas Rangers.

Yes, Jose was/is/and forever will be a goofball and loose cannon but a couple of days after all the criticism the tide seems to have turned and many in the media are accepting Jose’s candor confessions. Here is one very interesting article which refutes Tony LaRussa’s claim that Jose is desperate for money and that’s why he’s decided to snitch on his former teammates.

Canseco's claims have ring of truth

ENCINO, Calif. -- When I finally got to Jose Canseco's
expansive house, it was almost all the way to the top
of the hill at the base of the Santa Monica Mountains
in this well-to-do community 17 miles northwest of Los
Angeles. The home's style is outdated. All iron and
stone, it appeared something like a medieval fortress.

I came to find Canseco and to try to understand his
motivation for doing what no one dared do before,
which is to name names in his about-to-be-released,
tell-all tome, "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids,
Smash Hits and How Baseball Got Big."

Many people inside baseball who know Canseco,
including his former manager Tony La Russa, insisted
he must be desperate for cash. To them, there could be
no other explanation for such uncalled-for candor.

However, there's no evidence of Canseco being anywhere
close to the poorhouse in this bedroom community in
the San Fernando Valley. The showy home looks
overgrown even in the upper-class neighborhood, as if
it, too, is on steroids. There's a waterfall, too
loud, some would say like the home's owner. The
house/fortress is fronted by a stone lion.

That's exactly what some powerful people say Canseco
is doing -- lyin' -- when he names his former Bash
Brother Mark McGwire and the less suspected Texas trio
of Juan Gonzalez, Ivan Rodriguez and Rafael Palmeiro
as star steroid users.

It's a little sad. Someone finally stands up and
speaks openly -- and very possibly honestly -- about
baseball's biggest problem, and of course he gets
shouted down. Canseco's motives are questioned, his
disloyalty discussed, his integrity lambasted.

The shame of it is that while all this time and space
is spent killing the messenger, the message is ripped
to shreds or ignored. While naming Palmeiro in
particular caught me off guard, a lot of what Canseco
reportedly writes rings true.

McGwire the untouchable

McGwire's been gone a few years, out of sight, like
those balls he hit as he got older and bigger. He's
said almost nothing, but a lot of big people in the
game (big in stature, anyway) are rushing to McGwire's
defense to say they are shocked, absolutely shocked,
at these steroid allegations. Prominent among his
defenders are La Russa, McGwire's manager in Oakland
and St. Louis, and Sandy Alderson, McGwire's general
manager in Oakland.

If baseball started to come clean with its ramped-up
steroids policy, it takes two steps back in its rush
to bash Canseco while propping up McGwire. It's true
that Canseco has problems. He's been in bar-room
brawls, been under house arrest and once chased his
wife with a car.

Canseco can be disloyal, that's true. But dishonest?
Hardly. As former A's pitcher Dave Stewart said, he
was a bad teammate, but he's not a liar.

You can say he shouldn't air what goes on in the
clubhouse, much less in the bathroom stalls, which is
where he wrote that he and Jason Giambi would shoot up
McGwire with steroids. "He's gone through friendships
and relationships," one former friend said of Canseco.

Baseball people are guessing at Canseco's motivation.
It's hard to think he'd do this to win attention. Or
even to upstage McGwire. "Nah, what's there to be
jealous of? Jose was better looking, and a better
player," Canseco's ex-friend said.

Canseco went through a stage late in his career where
he claimed baseball was blackballing him for being too
outspoken, but he's mainly hurting a few stars who
shared a locker room with him. He isn't hurting
baseball as much; we already knew it had a steroid
problem.

Money's not a problem

My stakeout stalled, as it appeared no one was home at
Canseco's ostentatious abode. But after 45 minutes, a
big moving truck stopped at Canseco's house. It was
moving day.

Maybe this will explain all the claims of Canseco
being hard up, I thought. Canseco must be transferring
to a poorer neighborhood, a smaller house, an older
place. La Russa and the others must be right, I
figured.

I followed a car from the old house, and about a mile
away, high on a bluff with a killer view, was
Canseco's new house. This is no poorhouse, either.

The new home, which records showed was purchased Jan.
19, 2003, for $1.2 million, is spectacular, way nicer
than the first. He had to have spent the two years
renovating, remodeling and likely rebuilding. One
point two could barely buy that garage, which
contained a silver Phantom Rolls-Royce so new he
hasn't even affixed the plates.

The records show Canseco took out an $840,000 mortgage
on this home. He's a crazy spender, say those who know
him, but he spends much of it on homes. He's bought
places for his father, brother and sister. He's
purchased in Miami and Los Angeles, so those aren't
bad investments. Perhaps he's greedy, but there's
serious doubt as to how needy he is.

A woman who answered the door said Canseco didn't want
to do an interview. I called, and he said, "Let's wait
until the book comes out." There's a strategy to
maximize exposure, and yes, profit.

Canseco likes and spends money, that's clear. As for
whether he is desperate for money, that is fairly
doubtful. And as for whether he made it all up for
money, that is extremely doubtful.

Fuck A Tony La Russa!

2005-02-08T20:08:00.000-04:00

Hi, I’m Tony LaRussa and I’m a hypocritical piece of shit liar.

I had a personal problem with Jose Canseco back when he was on top of the baseball world and I was nothing more than a failed major leaguer. I am such an asshole that I told Jose to pack his bags because he’s been traded…not in a private office or meeting but while Jose was waiting in the on-deck circle in front of thousands of fans. Fuck Jose Canseco.

PS- I love Big Mac’s big mac.

Canseco's revelations can help sport heal
Sport shouldn't shoot the messenger

RICHARD GRIFFIN

First-time author and admitted steroid abuser Jose
Canseco claims in a soon-to-be-published tell-all book
that he believes George W. Bush, as owner of the
Rangers in the '90s, was aware that his Texas
clubhouse was rampant with performance-enhancing
drugs, introduced to his star teammates by Canseco
himself.

Given Bush's record of awareness, that's a leap of
faith. But if Canseco's looking for notoriety and book
sales, he might as well start at the top.

Remember, this accusation is directed towards a
baseball guy who traded Sammy Sosa to the White Sox
for nada and went to war based on evidence of weapons
of mass destruction in Iraq. Steroids in the
clubhouse? Hmm!

But even if Bush is off the hook for steroid
knowledge, former Canseco teammates Juan Gonzalez,
Ivan Rodriguez and Rafael Palmeiro have been gaffed
through the heart by a former friend and hung out to
dry.

He claims he introduced the three stars to performance
enhancement of the chemical kind while in his Lone
Star State.

The serial accuser goes on to claim that he personally
injected Mark McGwire in the butt while with the A's
and, further, that he witnessed Big Mac and his
up-and-coming teammate Jason Giambi administer needles
to one another. They're taking it in the same area of
the anatomy again.

What's amazing is that after naming a team owner as
being likely aware in Texas, he makes no allegations
against front office executives, coaches or clubhouse
staff in Oakland, where the saga began and where he
was wide open about his habits.

It turns out that inside the A's clubhouse, Canseco's
steroid abuse was common knowledge. This is a rewrite
of history

Sample the righteous indignation from his defenders on
the A's staff, despite Canseco's own open, careless
attitude.

In a Sunday New York Times piece, Tony La Russa, now
in his 10th year as manager of the Cardinals, admitted
that he knew about Canseco's abuse and advised him to
cease and desist.

"He'd say, `Come on man, what are you talking about?
I've got the world by the tail.'" a defensive La Russa
told the Times. "Sometimes you suspected and guys
would deny it. Jose would make a joke out of it."

That's a bizarre statement by La Russa given history.

Back in '88 just after Ben Johnson's fall from
gold-medal grace in Seoul, the manager vigorously
defended Canseco against accusations by Washington
Post baseball writer Thomas Boswell that the A's star
would not be in the majors if it weren't for steroids.

"It's irritating," La Russa said back in '88. "Jose
has made some mistakes, but I know what goes on with
our weight-training program."

La Russa now admits that, contrary to his '88 defense,
steroid use by his superstar was common knowledge
behind the closed clubhouse doors.

Canseco claims players around baseball knew his
penchant for experimenting, which earned him the
nickname "the Chemist."

If La Russa knew, would it not logically follow that
A's strength and conditioning coach Dave McKay, who
designed the workout programs, trainer Barry Weinberg
and, likely, both general manager Sandy Alderson and
VP of baseball administration Walt Jocketty were
aware? What was done? Nada.

In fact, instead of taking a step back, McKay and
Canseco in the winter of '89 had the cojones to
co-write a conditioning book called Strength Training
in Baseball that is still available.

Funny how with all that knowledge, including Alderson
who is now the executive vice-president of MLB, the
bulky slugger was allowed to move from team to team,
freely, importing his bad habits into clubhouses in
Texas, Boston, Toronto, Tampa Bay, the Yankees and the
White Sox, unchallenged by baseball.

But the Canseco controversy is not all bad. It's
forcing baseball to face its problems.

The game's reputation is already drowning because of
BALCO. If you drown in a wave pool or the Pacific
Ocean, it doesn't make any difference. You're dead.

The outlook isn't terminal. The game will bounce back
from this latest 'roid rage.

Instead of dragging this scandal out forever, baseball
should hope that every skeleton falls out of every
closet at once. This Canseco fiasco is a start, but
won't be the finish.

In the words of the unwittingly drawn-in Dubya, "Bring
'em on."

The book is scheduled to be released during spring training.

Cansecogate 2005

2005-02-07T13:39:00.000-04:00

My former idol, Jose Canseco has a book coming out in which he takes blame for 90% of all steroid use in the 90's. He also accuses former homerun champ Mark McGwire, former MVP’s, Juan Gonzalez, Jason Giambi, and Ivan Rodriguez of steroid use. This book comes out in a couple of weeks so expect HUGE headlines and an all-out assault/backlash on Jose Canseco himself, who claims that 80% of all baseball players are on steroids.

Canseco swings away in 'Juiced'

John Shea, Chronicle Staff Writer

Monday, February 7, 2005

Jose Canseco says he personally injected Mark McGwire with steroids (a needle to the buttocks) and that he, McGwire and Jason Giambi shot steroids together while teammates with the A's, according to Canseco's new book, "Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big."

The allegations were published in Saturday's New York Daily News, which didn't provide excerpts. It reported that Canseco, in the book, claims he wouldn't have become a big-leaguer, let alone the 1988 American League MVP, if he hadn't used steroids.

The Daily News, citing the book, referred to the A's clubhouse as "an abuser's paradise." According to the report, Canseco's book says A's players candidly spoke about injecting steroids in bathroom stalls. Canseco takes almost full responsibility for steroid use in baseball during the '90s.

Furthermore, according to the Daily News' account, the book says Canseco personally injected steroids into three prominent Texas Rangers -- Rafael Palmeiro, Juan Gonzalez and Ivan Rodriguez -- after he was traded to Texas in August 1992, and Canseco says in the book that President Bush, who owned the Rangers at the time, must have known about the steroid abuse but didn't react.

The book is scheduled to be released on Feb. 21. The Associated Press reported that the book's release might be moved up.

"I'm so pissed off at him," said St. Louis manager Tony La Russa, who managed Canseco in Oakland. "First of all, I think he needs the money. Secondly, I think he's jealous as hell. Jose had a head start over Mark and screwed it up. The jealousy eats at him.

"Early, Mark was, 'See it and hit it,' " La Russa said Sunday. "From about '93 to the end of his career, Mark became one of the smartest hitters in the game. Jose signed his big deal and started half-stepping with the way he played the game.

"Last but not least, Jose never took responsibility for anything. When the Expos cut him (in spring 2002), Jose's line was, 'I'm being blackballed by baseball.' When we traded him, it was, 'They weren't loyal to me.' It's always someone else's fault, not his."

La Russa has said many times that McGwire used natural means, including constant weight lifting and a solid diet, to strengthen his body. Former teammates Terry Steinbach and Carney Lansford agreed, in other interviews with The Chronicle on Sunday.

However, ex-A's pitcher Dave Stewart wouldn't say Canseco's accusations weren't true.

"I could never say 'Josie' is a liar," Stewart said. "I don't like his work ethic, and I don't like him as a teammate. But one thing I can't say about him is he's a liar.

"As far as what Josie's saying, I can't deny it or verify it. I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen because I don't know. We weren't in the same circles, but I'd have to say he definitely knows what's going on in his circle. Nobody I associated with on the team was a steroid user (among the players Stewart mentioned: Lansford, Rickey Henderson, Dave Henderson and Dennis Eckersley).

"If this is all made up, he'll suffer some serious damages. But if you're an admitted steroid user, believe me, you'd know who uses them."

McGwire said in a statement published in the Daily News: "I have always told the truth, and I am saddened that I continue to face this line of questioning. With regard to this book, I am reserving comment until I have the chance to review its contents myself."

As for Giambi, he told a federal grand jury in the BALCO steroids scandal that he had injected himself with a human growth hormone during the 2003 season and started using steroids at least two years earlier, according to a transcript reviewed by The Chronicle.

Canseco, McGwire and Giambi were A's teammates for most of the 1997 season, before McGwire was traded to St. Louis on July 31.

Stewart is no Canseco fan and said Sunday that he told La Russa before the final game of the '90 World Series that he wouldn't pitch with Canseco in the lineup. Canseco, 1-for-12 in the Series, was benched. In the '88 Series, he was 1-for-19. He was 5-for-14 in the '89 Series.

"Josie took away from those teams by being part of those teams," Stewart said. "He worked against what we were working for. ... Everyone knew he was a key ingredient. But in the World Series and playoffs, it seemed like he didn't want to be there. ... The guy was poison. He was weak-spirited. ... He was one disturbance after another, and this book is typical Jose."

Like La Russa, Steinbach took exception to Canseco's accusations that McGwire was a steroid user.

"I came through the system with Mark; we were roommates in '87," said Steinbach, recalling their rookie year. "Mark wasn't one of those guys who all of a sudden one offseason got so big you couldn't recognize him, like they say about steroid users. Mark loved to lift weights. ... He was in the gym regularly.

"Jose? No, at least not in the gym at the Coliseum or the gyms set up for us on the road. He was phenomenal in '88. Up to that point, he showed up on time and did his drills. All of a sudden, he didn't do the extra work in the outfield, and it showed. It frustrated us as teammates. It was frustrating that 24 guys marched to the same beat and Jose didn't."

La Russa suggested Canseco's work habits deteriorated after the slugger signed his five-year, $23.5 million contract in June 1990, baseball's most lucrative deal at the time.

"When Jose got his contract, he changed," La Russa said. "He quit working, and he was bigger than anybody. He'd talk about the juice, and others would talk to him about his health. He'd just laugh. ... At the same time, Mark was a prime example of a guy who'd work, work, work."

In the book, according to the Daily News, Canseco says McGwire put androstenedione (the steroid precursor was legal at the time) in his locker in 1998, when he hit 70 homers to break Roger Maris' record, so it would be discovered by the media and cover up his use of illegal steroids.

"That's so silly," said Dave McKay, who has been on La Russa's coaching staffs for 19 seasons and headed the strength and conditioning program in Oakland. "It's such a ridiculous comment by Jose. We're not that smart. It was just what Mark needed -- more headlines. The fact is, he was embarrassed when someone said there's a possible steroid inside andro. He wasn't using it to get bigger; he was using it for recovery after games."

McKay disputes McGwire used steroids and said he never saw any ballplayers take steroids.

"I'd be absolutely shocked to hear that Mark used a steroid or anything that would hurt him -- he was always so careful with what he put in his body, " McKay said.

"I know Mark well enough that if he used it, he'd tell me. This makes no sense. We had a program, and all the players followed it. The only one who didn't was Jose. He became smarter than us and wanted to do his own thing."

A White House spokesman, Trent Duffy, wouldn't comment on the book or Canseco's reference to Bush during his days with the Rangers. Duffy did reiterate Bush's stance on steroids, saying, "The President has said steroids ought to be banned from baseball and players and owners should get together and get rid of it once and for all. Every time the President hosts teams at the White House, he makes a point to remind the players they're examples for young people all over the world and to keep their bodies clean."

On another matter, the Daily News reported, Canseco writes about having sex with hundreds of women -- not, however, Madonna, though he did, he says in the book, make out with her in her Manhattan apartment.

For More Cansecogate Headlines click below;

1 2 3 4 5

Come To Me, Ipod!

2005-02-06T21:08:00.000-04:00

It’s been almost a year since I decided that I wanted an Ipod MP3 player. Unfortunately, those things run anywhere from $399 to $599 and since I’m not some rich, Starbucks-drinking, Volkswagen-driving, Abercrombie & Fitch-wearing, Maroon 5-listening GEEK…I have been unable to purchase one. That’s all about to change because in three days I will be $1,700 richer thanks to Uncle Sam. All I have to do is pay $350 for my car payment, $700 for a down payment on an insurance policy, $50 to renew my expired tag, $25 to re-instate my suspended license and then I can finally get my 40 gig (10,000 songs!) Ipod!

All I have to do is keep from getting pulled over (and arrested) while driving to and from work which adds up to 6 trips, or approximately 180 miles. That would be disastrous because it would be at least $1,500 to get bailed out (only 10% paid if bonded) and then that would make the license re-instatement $250 instead of $25. Please Jesus, I have never asked anything of you in the past but please…PLEASE keep me from getting arrested for the next three days so I can buy an Ipod. Please, Jesus... If you do this ONE thing for me I promise to stop masturbating more than 6 times a day. I promise.

So if all goes well (knock on wood) I’ll be a poor, Kool-Aid-drinkin’, Pontiac Grand Am-drivin’, Ecko Unlimited-wearin’, Beach Boys-listening non-GEEK!

PS- Fuck Apple Fanboys.

Axl Rose: Emo Fag?

2005-02-06T15:21:00.000-04:00

It’s been more than a decade since Vince Neil, now a Reality TV whore, challenged Axl Rose to a fight. Back in those days Axl’s band Guns N’ Roses was on top of the music world and Vince’s crew were nothing more than a poor man’s metal band. But that didn’t stop the media from picking up on the story.

Needless to say, it’s 2005 and after a horrible experiment album (The Spaghetti Incident), years of fighting, and Axl’s ever-growing ego, Guns N’ Roses broke-up and Axl Rose became a recluse, not unlike Marlon Brando.

Motley Crue faired even worse as their careers sank to all-time lows in the mid-90’s. Tommy Lee, uhh….Mr. Tommy Lee, wait, talented and gifted Tommy Lee made a sex tape with Pamela Anderson that ended up in everyone’s home. Lead singer Vince put on about 30 pounds and released his own sex tape. Let’s just say you can’t even get rid of that turd on Morpheus! He also appeared on The Surreal Life (with Webster) AND his own Swan-like makeover special on Vh1. So sad.

Well, Motley Crue appear in the latest issue of Maxim and let’s just say they haven’t quite let go of their fued with GNR.

Vince:
A band is only as good as its last record, so you're really competing with yourself. People keep this rivalry with Guns N Roses going, but it's crazy. You don't hold a grudge for 15 years. It's stupid. Why look back?

Tommy:
When Guns was opening for us, Slash thought he could keep up with us drinking Jack. So we started ripping em back. Slash throws up. We got him back to one of our rooms, laid him down on the bed, put our nut sacs right on his chin and took a fucking Polaroid of it. I think we laminated it and made that his tour pass.

Nikki:
The thing with Axl is as much as I love him, he's kind of a fucking emo fag. He's not really a dude. He's like the Wizard of Oz behind a curtain making a lot of noise. He never stepped up to the plate when Vince challenged him. Axl wasn't into getting wild. I think that's his inner-emo. He's so fucking artsy. I'm pulling it out in the press. Axl if you're there: Lose your inner-emo. Come back to us. Dude, let's rock.

How To Sell A Million Records

2005-02-03T05:54:00.000-04:00

Hasn’t Houston heard the song ‘Ever So Clear’ by Bushwick Bill? He SHOT his eye out and still didn’t die so what good is stabbing at it? I guess if I was responsible for polluting the air waves with fluff like “I Like That”…I’d be looking for a way out, too. Eye Like That.

For fuck's sake...look at it! It looks like he poked it with a toothpick.

R&B Singer Houston Gouges His Eye Out After Failed Suicide Attempt

R&B singer Houston, whose full name is Houston Summers IV, reportedly gouged out one of his eyes after a failed suicide attempt in a London hotel. MTV.com reports that last Thursday (January 27), the singer attempted to commit suicide by jumping off of the hotel balcony but was stopped by his security team. Houston then locked himself into a bathroom and gouged one of his eyes out. The singer was in Europe for a string of performances.

Details are still sketchy but on Wednesday (February 2), the singer's label, Capitol Records, released the following statement, "Our thoughts and prayers are with Houston during this tragic time."

The Los Angeles-based singer released his debut album, It's Already Written, last August. The set was certified gold for sales of 500,000 copies and featured the hit, "I Like That" featuring Chingy, Nate Dogg, and I-20.

When LAUNCH spoke to the singer last year, he explained that singing was in his blood. He said: "Been singing all my life. Pops is a singer, I'm the Fourth. You know he's Houston Summers the Third. You know he used to sing with Marvin Gaye back in the day. He used to do those background vocals. He was on the radio, so it's basically in my blood. Music is what I thirst for you know as well as God."

Come To The Message Board!

2005-01-31T01:01:00.000-04:00

Social Decline has finally ‘Jumped The Shark’ because I have added a forum to the Blog. I hope it works out so I can get rid of that less than stellar Blogger Comments System.

Wow, only 1 post in 34 days and out of nowhere I pop out 4 in 2 days. To the one person who reads this Blog (and me), enjoy it while it lasts.

The Social Decline Message Board

Social Decline VS. Blogger!

2005-01-29T21:38:00.000-04:00

As of today, Social Decline is boycotting all things Blogger. It has nothing to do with the service they provide (I love it!), or for their wonderful help center (every question’s been answered)….no, this has to do with the guy in charge of choosing the ‘Blogs of Note’. Ok now, we’ve been around 8 months now and while we may not be the flashiest or most professional, or even helpful…and definitely not legible blog; I would think that after pouring my heart out time and time again that the cold bastard in charge of Blogs Of Note would grant my little, unknown Blog some attention. Ok, when you had the guy Blogging from prison I could understand being passed up but now you are showing off a Blog about Dunkin’ Doughnuts…DUNKIN' FUCKIN' DONUTS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

Why oh why has Blogger forsaken Social Decline?

I want a loyal fan base and I don’t want to put in the work either. I just want to type in a couple of short stories a month and get at least 20 replies per post! Shit, if that sellout guitarist/Reality TV Whore of P. Diddy, Mariah Carey, and that other little band, Jane’s Addiction can get hundreds of brain-dead monkeys to reply to his worthless post about nothing than why can’t I get the same treatment?

So whatever your name is…I’m calling you out. Read my Blog from the first post to the last and you just might like what you read. But just incase you’re too busy reading all the fascinating news about Dunkin’ Donuts, here’s some selected post which should grab your attention;

There‘s Something About Linda- If I’m Francis Ford Coppolla, this is my Godfather (1 & 2, not 3!)

Bummer- If I’m Spike Jonze, this is my Jackass.

Dreaming Of TV Land- If I were a writer for X-Entertainment, I would be fired.

The Death Of Superman- This one is NOT about Chris Reeves…I swear.

Sex With Jonathan Davis?!? - I don’t even want to describe this one!

Legendary Nights: The Lost Episode - No one liked this but me.

The Letter- Proof that feminist strippers and close-minded funeral workers don’t mix (27 replies!)

Mc80’s Guys I’d *Almost* Go Gay For- If my mom read this, she would disown me.

There is much more but no one will ever discover it if you continue to shaft me on the Blogs Of Note. I shall expect a letter from you within 3 business days congratulating me on becoming the first Blog ever to be featured on the front page for an entire year.

Thank You Very Much For Your Time,
-mc80

Baby mc80 Loved Marlon Brando

2005-01-29T20:02:00.000-04:00

This picture is circa 1981; days after witnessing the amazing performance given by the late, legendary Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. As you can see, even as a child I was enamored with the madly insane Colonel Kurtz.

Check out the painful and tragic look on my face. If only I had taken some acting lessons I could have been the next Marlon Brando by the age of 5, banged the 12 year old Drew Barrymore at 7, won an academy award at 13 and died tragically by hanging at 19 after my disappointment in being passed up for the role of a grown-up Anakin in Star Wars.

…and what the hell is that book on my lap?

CASTILLO’S COMEBACK NOT GOING AS PLANNED

2005-01-28T21:42:00.000-04:00

CASTILLO’S COMEBACK NOT GOING AS PLANNED
By Alex Castle
The Associated Press

In Mario Castillo’s last plate appearance, he blasted a fastball towards right field with the bases loaded allowing his team to score three runs and landing him on third base not to mention winning the game for the Weston Devil Rays. That was 6 years ago.

Today, Castillo began what could be called, if successful the most miraculous comeback of all-time. But it didn’t go off quite as planned. In fact, it only lasted 15 minutes!

Mario, began his amateur baseball career in 1991 with the Shenandoah Tigers. In a short 10 game season, Castillo was mostly used as a pinch-hitter and didn’t have much to boast about. It was after that season that he decided to give up the sport. Without baseball, Mario found himself getting into more and more trouble until one day a probation officer suggested Castillo give the sport another try.

In 1997, after over a year of practice and determination, a 175 lbs. Castillo tried out for the Weston Marlins and easily made the team. For the first time, Mario’s skills were shining through as he was one of his team’s top players; his base-running and hustle made him a favorite on his team. The following year, Castillo played on the Weston Devil Rays and added an extra 10 pounds of muscle. His hard work finally paid off as Mario became for the first time an offensive force, while still keeping his incredible speed.

It seemed as if Mario had finally reached his peak or prime of his baseball career but just as soon as he tasted success, bad fortune would keep him from playing in 1999. Legal and financial troubles plagued him until finally all the pieces began to come together in 2002. That year, the Federal League of South Florida, a semi-pro baseball organization was holding tryouts, unfortunately for Mario, who spent countless hours training in the gym as well as taking personal batting lessons, could not attend. He missed 2003’s tryouts as well and finally gave up on his baseball career. The 2004’s tryouts went un-noticed.

Then something happened, Mario…6 years since his last game begin preparing for Federal League’s 2005 tryouts, scheduled for February 27th, 2005. Unfortunately, Mario, who is nearing 270 lbs. no longer has the agility, speed, or endurance to play ball. That hasn’t crushed his hopes though and he still insist that he can make the team on his power alone.

“I’m not the same speedy, singles hitter I once was” said the former stolen base king. “I know the odds are against me but if I make this team I can realistically hit a home run with every at bat”. “I have no problem with being a pinch-hitter or designated hitter”.

Still, in Mario’s first public workout in 6 years he managed to last less than 20 minutes before running inside to rest. Moments later he was seen putting a white object into his mouth, most likely an asthma inhaler. In the few short moments of the workout one thing was certain, his throwing arm is as strong, if not stronger than ever. His light jogging didn’t impress anyone but he just might be on to something and the Federal League doesn’t have much to lose by giving him a shot.

“These past few years have been hell for me”. “Life without baseball is hard” said the brutally honest Castillo. “I‘m going to shock quite a few people on February 27th. I have a lot left in me”.

Only time will tell if Castillo makes the team but you can expect Social Decline to cover it each step of the way.

Mc80's Guys I'd Almost Go Gay For

2005-01-27T01:38:00.000-04:00

Inspired by VH1’s I Love The 90’s Redux segment called Jay And Silent Bob’s Guys We’d Go Gay For….I present to you; Mc80’s Guys I’d *Almost* Go Gay For. What? Not enough of a commitment to you? Too bad. There’s not enough drugs and alcohol to make mc80 to visit Queer Street but every once in a while…you might hear Wham’s Make It Big blasting out of mc80’s old Pontiac or even see him watching Guys And Dolls (and lovin’ it!). So I guess ANYTHING is possible. Here’s a select few unique individuals who could someday share Mc’s mattress on the floor.

Marlon Brando- Golden Years' Version

This man went from being possibly the best looking actor of all time to a 400 lbs outcast and shut-in. There must have been something so special that kept him inside his mansion locked up for all these years. I mean, how could you go from banging Eva Marie Saint one decade to kissing Larry King on the lips in another? Either way, I’d almost bang this guy just for the after-sex conversation.

Mc80- Uhh, you were great in Godfather…

Brando- Quiet you! The ceiling and I are conversing on deplorable setbacks of the Native American Indian over the last two decades. Sauerkraut Fish sticks!!!

Mc80- I’ve made a huge mistake.

Jose "STE-ROIDS" Canseco

What more could you say about this guy that hasn’t already been said? He was a legend in baseball at the age of 24 but threw it all away by getting into steroids and constant legal troubles. I was actually once in his home in 1999 taking baseball lessons from his twin (and less good looking) brother Ozzie. Yes, I was in the Canseco home and not uninvited (shame on you, Alanis)!

Also, Jose spent some time in the Broward County Jailhouse in 2003 before being transferred to prison to serve several months there. If he was in the main holding cell he *might* have seen a “Mario Wuz Here” marking I left after a little run-in with the law I had in 1998. So twice our roads have almost crossed. Oh Jose, destiny cannot deny me what is rightfully mine…you’re hairy, plate-sized birthmark on my hairless chest!

Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys

Ok, in all seriousness….Brian Wilson is a god in my eyes. And what individual wouldn’t go down on his God if given the chance to? The amount of drugs this man went through from the 60’s to 80’s could have single handedly killed off the entire cast of Vh1’s Celebrity Fit Club ten times over. This man somehow keeps on ticking without a brain cell left to burn but who needs brani sells aniwaus?

And now…..to get these filthy, dirty thoughts out of my head…

Oh How The Mighty Have Fallen

2005-01-27T01:02:00.000-04:00

Call me curious. Or lonely. Or bored. Call me what you will but just before Christmas I called an old flame out of the blue who I hadn’t spoken to in 6 years. After a week or so of talking regularly and finding out some great gossip we decided to meet up at a local Starbucks to exchange gifts. Now there is just a little background you should know about ‘Carol’ before I continue. She was my second girlfriend, ever. We met in the seventh grade and hooked up a year later. She was the snobby cheerleader who dated nothing but jocks, which I was not. I was a thief back then….I had a small group of friends, maybe 4 of us, who did nothing but steal our way through middle school. Our love was not meant to be.

Anyways, we became friends and in a couple of weeks we were a couple. All her rich, snobby friends talked shit about the clothes that I wore, the people I hung out with, the grades I was getting, and yes, even the color of my skin. It was non-stop commotion and in between all of this I was a young, horny teenager dating a fresh, young, waiting-until-marriage virgin! Unfortunately for me, my first ever girlfriend put out quite frequently in the three weeks we were dating so you can imagine my dilemma. Well, dumbass that I was, I went and cheated on her with my first girlfriend and ended up getting dumped, and deservingly so.

Well, this beautiful girl went on to college, became a teacher and is now living in a very wealthy part of Florida. Not surprisingly, her very NEXT boyfriend, a black guy popped that cherry just two months after I struck out. She also went on to engage in threesomes, and much more! Oh the fun I missed.

Well, when we met up I was shocked to find a bloated, partied-out young lady, not unlike Tara Reid. So yeah no love was rekindled and I’m positive my gifts to her will be ignored (Book: Choke, DVD: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, CD: Pet Sounds) but when I got home and did a search on Google for her e-mail….a Match.com personal ad came up. I spent 20 minutes signing up for an account just to read her profile description which pretty much sounded like SEX FOR MONEY…That explains the three story fucking house!

Well, I guess things could be worse, right? At least she doesn’t work at a funeral home.

Happy Holidays!

2004-12-24T06:26:00.000-04:00

Hope everyone has a happy and prosperous new year! Thanks to everyone who has ever read this little blog.

Here's something for your private 'moments'...

Dealing With The Living + News

2004-12-11T01:13:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time since I had to deal with people other than 2 family members and my boss...13 months to be exact. For 13 months I lived 60% of my life at the funeral home during the night shift and 40% at home sleeping, watching movies, and generally not being socially active; that's where the name of this blog came from. It's been a week since I got my new position with LIVING human beings and some very hot girls (one in particular). Let's just say I am enjoying this new job more than you can imagine.

As usual, it's been a few days since the last update and lots has happened in the world...for one, Ol' Dirty Bastard's autopsy revealed something completely shocking (not!)...Britney Spears doesn't wash "down there"...and someone shot down a semi-famous guitar player and 4 others for breaking up an old band (with really pathetic fans).

Oh, and if you thought Kurt Cobain sounded depressed during the MTV Unplugged album...check out the rare up until this month Nirvana cover of 'Seasons In The Sun'.. I got mine from Kazza and it's just...creepy!

-mc80

Back On The Chain Gang

2004-12-05T23:53:00.000-04:00

Why can't the funeral home hire HER?

So, on Monday, November 30th I was fired from the place I had spent the last three years in. Needless to say, it came as a complete shock but let's just say I wasn't taking it too badly. It was a disappointment, being let go on the holidays, what with Christmas gifts to buy and all but I've also been looking for a way out of there for quite some time. As far as I looked at it, it was there loss. Time to move on, or so I thought.

Three days after being terminated I was called by the same guy who shit canned me three days earlier (not the guy who back stabbed me)! I was offered another job in the crematory print shop. No more driving, picking up dead bodies and no more graveyard shift! All I'm responsible for is sitting in front of two computers and printing prayer cards. YEAH!

Anyways, I started on Saturday. Thanks for all the support!

Christmas At The Unemployment Office

2004-11-29T19:15:00.000-04:00

"You have no friends here, remember".

Those were the words as they came out of my bosses' mouth two weeks ago. The conversation we were having was about another employee and the only person at the funeral home I considered a friend. I was immediately interrupted and reminded by my boss that every single person here could turn their back on you at any time. I should have taken that conversation as a warning sign, but why? I had been a loyal employee there for three years (longer than anyone else who was un-licensed). In the beginning of 2003 we had 5 full-time employees...fast forward a year and we were left with just one, me. I stuck by them, often doing the work of two, three people...put in 70, 80 hour weeks (!), worked multiple holidays, etc.

Early this year when the regular night shift guy quit to go into the army, I volunteered and got the job. My new boss, Dave , who was in his 27th year at the job told me I was the best night guy here ever worked with! I received employee of the month, families wrote letters to the company about how professional, kind, gentle I was during their hardest times...I was pretty much the motherfucking M.V.P of that place! So why is it that I find myself unemployed this holiday season?!?

Here's my job description in a nutshell; when someone dies, they call a funeral home...if that funeral home is one of our 11 in South Florida I am the one who goes to pick them up from either hospital, home, nursing home, etc. I am alone in the funeral home BUT my boss is on call at home and MUST come in on every single call to help out. Here's the thing; He's a lazy asshole who only goes on 1/3 of the calls, leaving me to pick up 350 Lbs. women at 2 in the morning all by myself. I didn't really mind doing it because I like driving and listening to music as loud as possible but last Thursday Dave received a call from the regional manager saying that I could no longer drive company vehicles because they can't afford to insure me. It was at that point where Dave could of been a man, and decided to stop slacking off and do his job the proper way, instead he put a 24 year old with a mouth to feed on the street.

He bitched and moaned about his excellent employee (best ever!) and told management that he needed someone who could drive. But why, Dave? You are on call for every single call so why can't you just drive? Oh, that's right...you are a lazy, drugged out fuck. Thanks, pal. So I was replaced and let go by ANOTHER boss and was told there was nothing that could be done. I get a week's vacation plus a holiday, and the full paycheck coming up this Friday that I already put in the hours for.

Shit, I thought I was untouchable at this place...and I would have been if it weren't for the backstabbing I received from someone who once helped me out to buy my computer. If only I paid more attention to what he was saying...

-mc80

Who's Got Movie Recommendations?

2004-11-29T01:18:00.000-04:00

Here's a list of my DVD collection, which is currently out on collateral but will be back home in a month's time. As you can see, I dig crime-dramas the most but don't discriminate against the fruity stuff like, well...Guys And Dolls!

As time goes on I will update and work on this list. This is just the beginning.

Drama

The Sopranos: The Complete First Season
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
Once Upon A Time In America
The Passion Of The Christ
The Shawshank Redemption
The Silence Of The Lambs
A Streetcar Named Desire
Raising Victor Vargas
Apocalypse Now Redux
Requiem For A Dream
Lost In Translation
American History X
The Usual Suspects
Kill Bill Volume 1
Gangs Of New York
On The Waterfront
Full Metal Jacket
American Splendor
Clockwork Orange
The Professional
Punch Drunk Love
Death To Smoochy
Immortal Beloved
The Deer Hunter
American Beauty
Matchstick Men
The Green Mile
Reservoir Dogs
The Godfather
Mystic River
A Bronx Tale
Pulp Fiction
Falling Down
True Romance
The Shining
Taxi Driver
Adaptation.
Raging Bull
Unbreakable
Fight Club
Goodfellas
Red Dragon
Chinatown
Cape Fear
Scarface
Hannibal
Memento
Casino
Se7en
Narc

Comedy

Penn and Teller- Bullshit- The First Season
The Best Of Triumph The Insult Comic Dog
Da Ali G Show: The Complete First Season
Mad TV: The Complete First Season
Arrested Development: Season One
Planes, Trains, And Automobiles
Steve-O: Don't Try This At Home
Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back
Chappelle's Show Season One
The Ben Stiller Show
Three O'Clock High
Clerks Uncensored
Jackass The Movie
Jackass Volume 2
Jackass Volume 3
CKY: The Box Set
Major League Two
Ghostbusters Two
Ghostbusters
Office Space
Major League
Chasing Amy
Up In Smoke
Spaceballs
Old School
Mallrats
Clerks
Dogma
CKY 4

Fantasy

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
The Little Shop Of Horrors
Pirates Of The Caribbean
The Neverending Story
Bram Stoker's Dracula
Dream A Little Dream
Edward Scissorhands
The Princess Bride
The Fifth Element
Stephen King's IT
Army Of Darkness
Last Action Hero
Beetlejuice
Labarynth
Big Fish
The Crow
Willard
Batman
Signs

Animation

Beast Wars: The Complete First Season
The Brave Little Toaster
Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Transformers: The Movie
Family Guy Volume One
Family Guy Volume Two

Other

Beach Boys- Sights And Sounds Of Summer
An All-Star Tribute To Brian Wilson
Def Leppard: Historia/ In The Round
The Beach Boys: An American Band
The Beach Boys: Endless Harmony
Queens Of The Stone Age (Live)
Def Leppard: Adrenalize/Vault
Beach Boys- Nashville Sounds
Beach Boys- The Lost Concert
St. Anger (Making Of)

Wish List

Beast Wars: The Complete Second Season
Beast Wars: The Complete Third Season
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
There's Something About Mary
The Island Of Dr. Moreau
Bringing Out The Dead
Napolean Dynamite
The Elephant Man
Fire In The Sky
Batman Returns
Guys And Dolls
Mean Streets
After Hours
Willow

The Social Decline 2004 Bus Tour

2004-11-28T01:14:00.000-04:00

Here I am doing something I said I’d never do again…posting from work. It appears that come Monday November 29th I will be getting terminated from this place and you can expect full details for the 2 readers who might be interested coming later this week.

Well, it’s been a great 3 years! Actually, no it hasn’t. They have been horrible I tell ya! Also, as you might have been able to tell…my Blogging has been almost non-existent as of late. Well, never fear because I have been out on the Social Decline 2004 Bus Tour spreading the word about this somewhat interesting (but not really) blog.

The first stop on the information super highway came at Superiorpics.com’s forums. They are a website dedicated to posting pictures of hot and horny celebrities. As you can see from the screencap below, I have been fitting in quite well!

OK, so maybe the first stop in the tour wasn’t a complete success but you can bet that I had a plan to change that the moment we reached our next destination, IMDB’s huge message board.

Check out the wonderful interaction I was having with Canada’s biggest Quentin Tarantino/Michael Moore fan who is also an aspiring writer/director of action, horror, sci-fi, comedy, romance, drama, and documentary movies. If you delve into this young man’s profile you will see that this future Oscar winner’s talent doesn’t “lie in one genra” By the look of his thousand anti-Lindsay Lohan boob post one might wonder if he should skip directing movies and go straight into theater.

http://imdb.com/name/nm1249883/board/nest/13544687

Anyways, that’s it for the tour for now. Expect many more stops until I get shit canned and run out of money to pay for my internet.

-mc80

Howard The Hypocrite

2004-11-22T13:58:00.000-04:00

It started out a few months ago when Howard Stern opened a message board on his official site. At first it was a success and hundreds of his weird, unemployed fans spents hours and hours posting messages about how great he was and that he was the second coming...and on. But little by little a movement began and it all started with Beth O, Howard's model girlfriend. Howard and his zombies always went on about how beautiful she was even though she's cross-eyed and according to many has a horseface. The inevitable happened when Howard and Beth went on the board to chat with fans and she was bombarded with insults left and right. After that she vowed never to return again.

Then because of Howard's FCC troubles, he turned his radio show into a Rush Limbaugh-type crapfest and canned the comedy for 'serious' political discussion. He even began to brag about what a huge effect his listeners had and that he would be the one that would sway the election for Kerry. He even brought a former nemesis of the show on and kissed his ass for an hour (Michael Moore). Well, as you can imagine...Howie failed miserably at getting Bush out of the office and on the board he completely lost his credibility. You had literally thousands constantly bashing him on his own message board!

Well, poor Howie couldn't handle it and shut down the board yesterday. He's made a fortune off making fun of celebrities for;

Dating much younger women (Billy Joel) and he's doing it himself (Beth, 20's, Stern, 50's)

Talking about politics (Sean Penn, Alec Baldwin) and he did it non-stop this year

Plugging cheap merchandise (Jackie The Jokeman) and he's done it this year...Beth O's calendar

I could go on and on. It seems as if Howard has become everything he hated so many years ago.

Even A Clown Needs Lovin'

2004-11-20T22:44:00.000-04:00

I don't know what's scarier, these pictures of the Duff sisters with Ronald McDonald...or the fact that I am turned on by it!

Click on the thumbnails, newbies.

Ron: It's about this big...but not always.

Haylie: Is that a squirt gun in your pants...

Ron: If someone moves this table...I am sooo getting fired.

Haylie: Once I poison Hilary...the internet will talk about me! HA!

Hilary: Hmm, kinda salty like Aaron's...uhh, cooking. Yeah, that's it!

Clay Thought Bubble: Girls are icky! I miss Mr. Kelly Clarkson.

Surreal

2004-11-18T10:07:00.000-04:00

Here's some pictures of Ol' Dirty Bastard/Big Baby Jesus in his casket.

If you missed it, here's a previous post about his death.

If you have some extra change, go pick up ODB's "Return To The 36 Chambers". It's easily Wu-Tang's best solo effort. Hell, if you don't have it...go get Wu-Tang's 'Enter The 36 Chambers' as well. Those are two Hip Hop classics! Do nothing else because everything else from Wu and ODB is mediocre at best.

I Have Been Banned From The Internet!

2004-11-16T01:34:00.000-04:00

My fast-access ISP, Advanced Cable Communications has suspended my internet access for 30 days starting today because of some wacked-out law called "Copyright Infridgement". I don't know about you but I've never heard of such a thing.

Apparently, someone in my home...possibly on my own computer was downloading full length movies and two movie studios, Universal and Paramount sent letters saying they had tracked me down and also threaten to sue. The two films in question were Spider-Man 2 and The Chronicles Of Riddick (not yet on DVD). I would like to immediately state my innocence. I would also like to say that I have recently seen these two movies and neither one was very good.

I would also like to post my reviews of movies I have seen over the past two weeks, uhh...but not from downloading it off Suprnova.org with a Bit Torrent Client. Never that!

Napolean Dynamite (not yet on DVD)- What a boring piece of crap.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- Excellent film! Best of 2004, IMO.

Spider Man 2- It had it's moments

The Chronicles of Riddick (not yet on DVD)- Ok, so I was bored. At least it was free.

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban (not yet on DVD)- I hate the British accents but good film.

Fire In The Sky- Excellent Alien Abduction film.

There's Something About Mary- The only good Farelly Brothers' film.

Fahrenheit 9/11- It got kind of boring but not bad for a freebie.

Anyways, for the next 30 days I'll be in hell, otherwise known as America Online. I'm currently connected with a 56K Modem. How sad to go from Cable DSL to a phone line! No more movi...err, nevermind.

Today Our Nation Mourns

2004-11-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

There comes a time in our nation's history when tragedy strikes and our entire nation mourns, no matter what color, sex, or creed. Pearl Harbor, President John F. Kennedy's assassination, 9/11...but no tragedy can prepare us for what happened on November 13th, 2004.

The life of Big Baby Jesus came to an abrupt and sudden end. In honor of Ol' Dirty Bastard, we at Social Decline, and when I say 'we' I mean just me...will give a brief view into the life of Osirus.

Russell Jones was born in 1969.

Russell had 13 kids (that he knew of)

Russell spent time in prison with Scott Weiland

Russell saved the life of a young kid trapped underneath a car (TRUE)

Russell jumped out of the second story of a hospital where he had been recuperating from gunshot wound/s.

Russell NEVER sold out like his former protege Method Man

Russell did not receive phone calls or even visits from his rap group Wu-Tang Clan while serving a 4 year prison sentence

Before I close I would like to leave you all with a special lyric that O.D.B wrote some time ago. If you begin to tear up reading it...just remember, Ol' Dirty Bastard is not gone he's just up in Heaven making more babies.

Burn me, I get into shit, I let it out like diarrhea
Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea
Dirty, I keep shit stains in my drawers
So I can get fzza-funky for yah

BREAKING NEWS!!!

2004-11-04T11:10:00.000-04:00

18 to 24 year olds...BEWARE!

Sean 'P. Diddy, Puff Daddy, Puffy' vowed yesterday on MTV's TRL that he would personally come after every single young person who did not vote on November 2nd or earlier. He told Kurt Loder, 'I TOLD YA MOTHERFUCKERS VOTE OR DIE!!!'.

P. Diddy is currently in the studio remaking Barbara Streisand's classic ballad 'You Don't Bring Me Flowers' word for word, note by note except he's changed the title to "You Don't Bring Me Voters" and is expected to debut the music video in between Real World/Road Rules Challenge 16 sometime in early December.

-------------------------------------------

Not a breakout year for youth vote after all

WASHINGTON (AP) — This was not the breakout year for young voters that some had anticipated.

Fewer than one in 10 voters Tuesday were 18 to 24, about the same proportion of the electorate as in 2000, exit polls indicated. Still, with voter turnout expected to be higher overall, more young people appeared to have come out.

A vigorous push on college campuses by both parties and national mobilization drives had raised expectations that 2004 would be the year of the youth vote.

Exit polls indicated that young people who did vote were strongly supporting Democrat John Kerry over President Bush, while they were evenly split between Bush and Democrat Al Gore four years ago.

The exit polls were conducted for The Associated Press by Edison Media Research and Mitofsky International.

First-time voters made up about 10% of the electorate, about the same as in 2000, and they favored Kerry. Four years ago, the group leaned toward Gore.

The economy and moral values were the top issues for young voters, with about one-fifth of those surveyed choosing each. Young people concerned about moral values strongly supported Bush, while those interested in the economy and jobs chose Kerry.

Iraq and terrorism were next on the list — with Kerry winning the Iraq vote and Bush taking the terrorism group.

"It's definitely the war," said Eliana Deutsch, 20, of San Diego, explaining why she came out. "People see these soldiers who are 18 and don't have an education, and they're over there dying. It's really sad that that (the military) is their best option."

Sarah White, 18, a North Palm Beach high school student in Florida who was excited about voting for the first time, went for Bush, saying, "I agree with a lot of what he stands for."

Copyright 2004 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Sorry, AP. Sue me!

My First Election

2004-11-03T10:49:00.000-04:00

I must be getting up there in age because I spent close to 20 hours in front of a TV switching from one news station to another in search of as much information as I could possibly find about the election. Up to this year I have never shown any interest whatsoever in politics but this election was just so damn exciting!

Let me just make one thing clear...I voted for John Kerry. Not because it was the hip thing to do or because Fahrenheit 9/11 or anything else. I watched all the debates and came to the conclusion that I trust Kerry-Edwards much more than Bush and Cheney. So there...I'm out of the political closet.

That being said...GW whooped Kerry's ass like I've never seen! First off, Kerry spent over $200 million dollars campaigning in Ohio and Florida only to lose both of them. Believe me that's not my fault as the main parts of South Florida all voted for Kerry (Broward, Dade, Palm Beach) it was just the rest of the state that voted Bush.

In 2000, Al Gore won the popular vote but lost the electoral to Bush. This time around GW won the popular by a huge amount (3.5 million + as of this morning) and won several of the Midwest electoral. He is way ahead in Ohio but for some reason the Kerry-Edwards people are protesting that there are several thousand absentee and provisional ballots but according to CBS, those would have to favor Kerry 80% or above just to break even and that's just not realistic. I guess Kerry's not ready to go away just yet.

Oh well, as long as we don't get Hillary Clinton in 2008...I'll be fine.

Simpsongate 2004

2004-10-26T11:09:00.000-04:00

Wow. A lot seems to happen when I don’t post. First Ashlee Simpson gets caught pulling a Milli Vanilli (but hey those guys could at least dance!) and then Lindsay Lohan gets hospitalized for ingesting three gallons of Semen. Also, Britney Spears retired. How will I survive October!?!

Could it be that I have absolutely nothing left to write about? Possibly. It doesn’t help that I just bought the first seasons of Arrested Development and Mad TV.

PS- I’ve also been harassing little girls on IMDB boards;

Love Me

PSS- Does anyone who's seen Ashlee's dance during the fuck up think she took dancing lessons from Elaine Benes?

Scared to death of death...

2004-10-22T09:15:00.000-04:00

I have been contemplating writing this for a few days now. As you might or might not know, my blog has turned to shit. It is partly because I have been extra busy at work but at some point I came to the conclusion that I was being too personal here. As of late, more and more of my infrequent posts have been music, movie, or sports related.

Today and maybe for the last time, I will delve into my personal life once more not to collect sympathy from anyone but because I am truly and deeply in distress. No, it does not relate to my life…as I’m personally hitting new highs in 2004. Things are finally starting to turn around for me, but that’s another posts at another time (maybe).

So I’ve been working at this funeral home for three years now, I think that’s been pretty well documented on here but to this day I have yet to experience death of any kind in life. Yes, I have known one person who died in middle school who I use to be close with but when he died it had been a couple of years since we had last spoken and well, it didn’t quite affect me.

I’ve also had 4 or 5 co-workers of mine die in the last three years, one as little as two days ago (I didn’t know him well, but I knew him). When I was alone in my shift I went into the ‘cooler’ where he was to be kept until his cremation and peeked into the box. For the first time in three years, well…I didn’t want to be here. I want to be away in some normal job working with normal people. I can no longer function in this place. I truly, absolutely fear death because I feel like someone close to me is going to pass soon.

All my life (or the 16 years that I have known her) I have called her “Abuela” . She is my grandmother on my father’s side. I don’t want to get too deep into this but I am the product of a short relationship which ended as soon as my ‘father’ found out my mother was pregnant. Anytime my young mother asked him for money to pay for food/diapers, etc. he would make my mother beg and/or do horrible things. Simply put, Victor is a scumbag.

That is why she called us in Venezuela, South America all the way from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. She introduced herself as the mother of my father and asked my mother to come to the United States and start a new life. She even sent us the plane tickets. In a few months we were in the United States living in her small apartment with her daughter and her daughter’s son (my cousin).

Fast forward 10+ years and this woman who I have more respect for anyone else on this planet (my dear mother, second) is still working her ass off at a Publix bakery in an extremely busy suburb of Florida. Her daughter, my aunt is a drugged out loser who caused nothing but trouble for my grandmother. Well, she has moved out and disappeared (good). My cousin, whom I have been in touch with on and off over the last 5 years, is somewhere in Broward County serving a small jail sentence for being an idiot.

So here is my poor grandmother in an emergency room thinking about her failure of a son (my father) and daughter, and grandson (my cousin) all by her lonely self. By the time I got the news and spoke to her she sounded, well…defeated.

I don’t know why life is so unfair. If only I could take her out of that place and buy her a home with a library the size of that horrible bakery. The woman has never shown anything but love towards her family and this is how she is to live out her golden years…paying rent to her OWN fucking loser son to stay in a small bedroom?

There is something much bigger working here. I would love for my grandmother to live 10-15 more years if she is comfortable and happy. It’s possible because I pick up 90-100 year olds all the time but what if? What if her heart gives in to the pain one of these days in the near future? I’m 24 years old and have been around 1,000’s of bodies and heart broken families but no one ever taught me how to deal with loss. No one. It’s too late now.

I only wish they could outlive me because I can’t imagine not being with them…and this comes from the most un-family type of guy you’ll ever meet. Just how do you say good-bye to someone forever? What if I can never see my grandmother’s face in person? How could anyone deal with that kind of loss?

2004-10-15T23:25:00.000-04:00

I don’t even know where to begin on this one. If you’ve been reading this Blog from the very beginning you already know I am somewhat prone to crazy dreams. For proof check out this post in which guilt over sleeping with a married co-worker turns into oral sex with the lead singer of Korn!

I thought that there would be no more insane dreams for a while. Unfortunately, things never work out in my favor and I have now been traumatized for life on what is perhaps the sickest of all my dreams.

*WARNING*

I don’t condone rape, murder, and/or necrophilia

The dream starts out with me walking around looking for Hilary Duff. Once I run into her we get into a quick conversation that leads nowhere and she leaves. Unsatisfied (and with a boner) I sneak up behind her and take her life (I don’t know what method was used). I begin to immediately have tremendous feelings of panic, nervousness, etc. My heart begins to pound so hard it almost feels like the dream is real. I proceed to drag Hilary’s corpse into a sewer and begin to look her over. As I begin to lower my pants, I lose my erection because of all the commotion outside. I leave Hilary there and walk outside to try and escape the scene but police begin to appear from all sides. I run back into the sewer and take off my pants (the erection had returned) but Hilary’s body was turning into human feces! She was about 75% human, 25% feces but for some reason that didn’t matter to me. I grab her from her waist to bring her close and her entire lower half of her body turns into shit before my eyes. I then begin to make “love” to the handful of shit until the police bust in an arrest me.

After I am taken outside of the sewer I begin to hear police yelling “SNIPER!”, “SNIPER!” over and over again. I was now positive that this was no dream and I would soon be dead from a bullet to the head.

It was then that I awoke, feeling dirtier than I have ever felt before. What the fuck was the meaning of that sick shit?

The only explanation I can think of is that I went to sleep after having smoked close to $20 dollars of my cousin’s pot stash and watching the new Lindsay Lohan music video on MTV. So my brain wasn’t right to begin with and the incredibly slutty video put thoughts of sex into my mind before I fell asleep.

Do I need to see a shrink again?

Christian Bale: The New DeNiro?

2004-10-11T10:23:00.000-04:00

For the lead role in the upcoming movie The Machinist, Christian Bale (new Batman!) lost a total of 60 Lbs.! He then had to gain 100 Lbs. for the role of Batman, which left him ill and with high blood pressure.

If you’ve seen Taxi Driver, you know Bobby D. was perhaps the skinniest taxi driver in the history of taxies. So it was quite shocking to see him just three years later as an over the hill Jake LaMotta.

So who sacrificed his body more for the sake of film? My vote goes to DeNiro who looked like a 40 year old version of Ben Savage during his fat scene, not to mention that he never really lost the extra weight afterwards.

What Christian Bale did is impressive except for the fact that he was already pretty thin to begin with. Either way, there is serious Oscar buzz for this movie. You can check out the trailer at the official website below;

http://www.machinistmovie.com

An Update Of Sorts...

2004-10-04T09:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I am officially off the Blogger Bandwagon. No, I’m kidding but I have lost some interest in Blogging since the purchase of my computer. You see, when I was forced to post from work, I was not able to do much more…therefore I was stuck Blogging on a regular basis. Having my own computer has allowed me to expand my web surfing and quite frankly I have been busy with other things.

For example;

1. Downloading MP3s- I now have close to 950 MP3s and currently have two programs open as I type this. Hey, aside from movies….music is my second passion.

2. I have developed an un-healthy, um…obsession with Hilary Duff. Don’t ask why because I don’t know but it’s happened. Nothing I can do about it.

3. Aside from work, I have been busy with other things. I know that sounds like a copout because there are several Bloggers with jobs AND social lives but maybe I’m just lazier than they are.

All is not lost, though. I am currently working on a “Most Annoying of 2004” list which should top any other article I have ever done. In the meantime, please check out some of the Blogs listed on the sidebar. I’ve also made a list of the top 5 artciles ever pumped out by yours truly.

The Best of The Best

1. Breaking News
2. Bummer!
3. I Have Become My Idol!
4. Dreaming Of TV Land
5. The Letter

Too Obscure or Complete Crap?

1. Legendary Nights The Lost Episode
2. Sex With Jonathan Davis?!?
3. The Death Of Superman

No One Ever Accused Me Of Being Bright

2004-09-30T09:11:00.000-04:00

You probably all know about Social Decline’s “coverage” of Hurricane Frances. For those that don’t, it was basically me, outside the funeral home with my brand new digital camera recording rain. Sounds like fun, no?

Anyways, aside from the non-stop rain I endured, heavy winds I braved, camera I ruined, and time I wasted, I did manage to get a cool souvenir that I will always cherish. Well, maybe that’s too strong a word. More like I’ll keep it until I get bored with it.

On Sunday morning, right in the middle of the strongest winds, my friend and I were outside walking around looking for some good footage when the major street sign directly outside the funeral home fell to the ground. I must have driven past this sign maybe 1,000 times without really looking at it. I always thought it was flat but it turns out to be a huge box with those long, fluorescent bulbs inside of them. The light was connected to power cords running from the street light and when it dropped there were two big sparks. One was when it disconnected from the light and the other was when it fell on the ground and the lights on the inside exploded. It then began to smoke from the inside.

By this time, it was past midnight and the street was completely dark. My heart was pounding as I walked up to the street sign. There was a downed power line right next to it but for some idiotic reason that didn’t stop me from trying to pick it up. It must have weighed 200 Lbs…minimum. I couldn’t even move it and at the same time the wind was pushing me and the rain was hitting me full force. My friend also noticed we were being watched. A man in a building across from us was outside looking directly at us. We played stupid and went inside.

After a few hours of sleep, I awoke at around 6:30 AM. By this time the winds had died down but the rain was harder than ever. I had used up all the clothing I had brought and had to go out in boxers and a white undershirt. I tried to lug that thing by myself but it was WAY too heavy. I went inside, got a small piece of rope, tied a knot around it and dragged it to the back of the building. The sun was starting to come up and the morning staff would be arriving by 7:30 AM. This would not look good if I were to be seen.

I lifted the sign (barely) into my car but could not get the damn door to close by at least 3 feet. I tried fitting it both ways but it would not work. I ran into the funeral home and took the sign apart, dumped the big body attached to it and went away with just the cover, which is all I wanted anyways.

Well, here’s a picture of it. I’m guessing it’s somewhere along 10-12 feet long! One thing is for sure, no more hurricane coverage for me…well, at least until next year!

Premature Ejaculation

2004-09-26T09:38:00.000-04:00

Well, another shitty hurricane passed through Florida…and this one wasn’t even that fun. My camera has yet to be fixed and I didn’t even have to stay at the funeral home for three straight days like last time, during Hurricane Frances.

This one was much weaker and brought almost no rain, compared to Frances. Our power went out for about two hours and a giant tree fell right on some power lines exactly next to the funeral home but other than that…nothing! Jeanne killed 1,500+ Haitians along its way but when you live in cardboard boxes…well, that’s almost cheating.

The most eventful thing was me going out in the middle of the “hurricane” to change the doughnut tire that I had been driving on for about 2 weeks. Apparently, you’re only supposed to use those things for 500 miles or less. Whoops!

Bummer! This season was definitely the “premature ejaculation” of hurricane seasons. At least I got paid to sit around and do nothing for close to 100 hours during those days.

The Death of Superman

2004-09-26T09:02:00.000-04:00

This is why boxing is without a doubt the greatest sport in the world. There is no other sport that can bring such excitement as a good fight can. For all its corrupt officials, lunatic personalities, and boring fights there is always a great story, a beautiful fight, and memorable moment each and every time out.

Roy Jones Jr. was maybe the most gifted boxer of the last 20 years. He never had to put on a show because he hardly EVER lost a round, let alone a fight. When he entered the ring last May for his rematch with Antonio Tarver he was still known to boxing fans as “Superman”. In the most shocking fashion, Tarver defeated Jones Jr. in the second round with just a single punch! Nobody believed what they saw that night. An undefeated king of boxing knocked out by a single punch. Everyone assumed it was a fluke.

Last night was supposed to be nothing more than a confidence builder for Jones Jr. Make a comeback against a nobody…get in some round and then blow him out of the water like he always does. This was supposed to be an easy fight, before the rematch with Tarver. Well, Glencoff Johnson saw things differently.

To put things in perspective, Roy Jones Jr. fought 49 professional fights before losing to Antonio Tarver. Glencoff on the other hand had 9 loses in 48 fights. A year ago EVERY single boxing fan would have laughed in your face if you told them Roy Jones Jr. would lose, let alone get knocked out…and even worse, by a “bum”.

I can’t imagine what it’s like to be the greatest athelete of your generation one year…and a washed up old man the next. It doesn’t even matter that Jones Jr. was perhaps the cockiest fighter of all time; this is still a sad day to be a boxing fan.

Infomercial Hell....

2004-09-23T10:16:00.000-04:00

Infomercial Hell…

What a night! As soon as I arrive to work I get sent out on two calls. It wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that I have gotten maybe 6 hours of sleep in the last two days. Hey, downloading MP3s and attempting to play Doom 3 will.............

Buy my vitamins you fat fuck!

I have picked up daily routine that consist of flicking off any and all police officers on the road. I feel like if I do this every single time, I will never get pulled over. Well, I was driving over the bridge and I see a pig staked out with his radar pointing at me. I quickly flicked him off but he fucking saw me! He pulled me over, looked in the vehicle and before asking for my license (suspended), he asked me where I was headed. I made up some lame excuse that I was going to Joe DiMaggio’s Children’s Hospital to do a removal of.............

Mc80 has a tiny penis!

Talk about dodging a major bullet! As soon as I come back to the funeral home, we get another call and my boss was too lazy to go on the call with me…so here we go again. By this time (1:30 AM) I had been working straight for 3 ½ hours and my legs were starting to get numb. I stop at the light, right next to an SUV full of hot, young, females who could do nothing but laugh.............

MAKE THE GOVERMENT PAY YOUR BILLS!

And as if my night couldn’t get any worse, I get a fucking phone call from the devil himself, or should I say the regional manager of the company. Apparently some family member complained that I was not clean shaven when I went to pick up their relative. So now I’m in the doghouse. If I do my job, why can’t I have just a little stubble here and there? Damn this place. Damn this place to.............

We're midgets and we still get laid more than mc80!

I need to get some rest...

Woah!

2004-09-20T13:01:00.000-04:00

I’ve always been somewhat interested in the career of Edward Furlong. He played a pretty bad ass kid in Terminator 2 and from that moment on I was a fan (hey, I was 12!). Anyways, he’s been acting real strange in the past few years and his career has suffered because of it. His last great movie, in my opinion was American History X, which was really Edward Norton’s movie. Well, earlier this month Edward Furlong was arrested for trying to free some lobsters from a grocery store.

Yeah. That’s right.

Well, anyways…after seeing his mugshot and then looking for an older picture of him I discovered an eerie similarity to an old “before and after” picture I posted in the forgettable blog post “Public Service Announcement”.

I have a feeling Eddie is probably going through some of the same things I’m going through. In 1992, at the age of 15, he was on top of the world; partying, banging young, white girls, and living completely carefree. Now look at him!

In 1995, at the age of 15, I was partying, banging hot, white, trailer girls, and living completely carefree. Now…look at me!

Yikes!

Hell, there is always rejuvenation. For him, it will be some low-budget film that gets him back in the spotlight (Travolta-Pulp Fiction) and for me there will be school which will take me out the funeral home and into push me back into a sane lifestyle.

The End

Happy birthday to Tweeq, the funniest Canadian Jew...EVER.

Money Woes

2004-09-16T10:05:00.000-04:00

In an attempt to open my 14 year old sister’s mind to other music besides the brainless rap she listens to, I bought her an Apple Ipod (20 Gig, 5,000 song storage). Don’t get me wrong, there are some great hip-hop songs from 5-10 years ago but the stuff of today is nothing but trash. Download Ghostface Killa’s “All That I Got Is You” and/or Naughty By Nature’s “Everything Is Gonna Be Ok” and you will hear what REAL hip-hop is.

Well, the Ipod was $299 plus an extra $49 for a one year warranty. That of course meant I couldn’t pay my power bill or car payment. That over-priced piece of shit lemon is on its last legs so if it gets repossessed I could care less…they would be doing me a favor, sort of. I’m sick of the 19% financing I agreed to three years ago. At the time I was beginning a new job and desperately needed a new vehicle when my Ricer blew up on University Drive.

But now I have $121.13 to raise in less than 24 hours and I don’t get paid for another 8 days! I really wish I had a nice body because if I did I’d be working at some strip club making big bucks! But even if I did have the looks, I would still need a super sized, banana schlong to shake on all the damn perverts who came to see me. Damn!

Back when my license was legal, I had insurance, and a non-expired tag I was working at an escort agency driving “escorts” to people’s houses and waiting for them to do their, uhh…escorting. That was fun and the money was excellent. The only problem is that now I can’t be driving around with a hooker in my car with all my license problems.

Well, time to do like Al Bundy and start donating blood…

Hitting Rock Bottom At The Hospice

2004-09-12T11:08:00.000-04:00

I must be losing it. There was a time not long ago when I could walk into someone’s home and pick up their cancer-filled 12 year old boy and minutes later be joking around with my partner like nothing happened. Or I could go into a hospital and pick up a man while his wife of 55 years watched on in tears. Nothing affected me. I was a cold, heartless bastard-desensitized from 3 years of non-stop death around me.

So what in the hell is wrong with me now? I have come to the realization that I hate my job. I’m not scared of it in any way. I am just sick and tired of being around tears, broken hearts, loneliness, depression, and despair. It has taken a toll on me like it took its toll on “Matt”, who’s been with the company for 21 years. He now is over 400 Lbs and suicidal. In fact, he told me he can’t wait to die because when he does, his three children will benefit from his life insurance and that his “scumbag” of a wife won’t be able to touch it. I can’t believe it, but I am becoming Matt at an even faster pace than he ever did!

One thing that my company stresses is a good personal appearance. You must never come into work with facial hair or let your hair on your head grow long (unless you’re a woman). You must also come in to work with your clothes clean and your shoes shinny.

Well, yesterday I realized about 30 minutes before I had to come into work that I had no clean work shirts left. I took out my backpack which I used during hurricane Frances to store wet clothes and found one which was sitting folded and wet for 6 days. You can imagine the smell, no? I put it in the dryer (along with some black socks) for about 15 minutes while I showered and when I came out the white dress shirt had green stains on at least 6 places. The smell had also not worn off, no matter how much Axe Body Spray I put on it. I also hadn’t shaved in about two weeks and my hair was about down to my neck (which I usually conceal to avoid getting in trouble). This was truly a sign that I want to get fired. Unfortunately, as soon as I got to work, no one said a thing…they just sent me out on two calls. Shit…

The first one was at a nursing home in West Palm Beach, which if I didn’t know any better was right smack in the middle of Haiti. I’m not a racist man but the way these people treat their patients is just horrible. Either they do nothing but yell at these people suffering from Alzheimer’s or worse…or they do nothing about their pain and agony. There is nothing worse than the smell of a nursing home, because many of these people have to wear diapers and according to one family member I spoke to a while back who had her mother in there; they sometimes have to wear them for close to 24 hours and sometimes even longer.

I got out of there as soon as possible and made my way to University Hospital in Ft. Lauderdale. I had to go do a removal in the hospice section of the hospital and got more than I bargained for. It’s bad enough having to walk down a hospital filled with hot nurses pushing along a stretcher but now I had to go get this person from a room with two people and his room mate happened to be awake! The guy’s in hospice so he must know he’s going to die, right? How awkward of a situation that quickly becomes. As soon as I walk in with a stretcher and pass his side of the room, this man begins screaming at the top of his lungs which pretty much terrifies me. I don’t fear the bums that walk around in the middle of the night outside the funeral home but some bedridden man near death scares the shit out of me. It got so loud that he was waking up other patients and they had to wheel his bed out to another room.

I need to get myself a desk job…

The Internet Has Spoiled Me

2004-09-09T13:46:00.000-04:00

While looking through the Social Decline archives a few hours ago I noticed something very shocking; I have not been updating this Blog as often as I use to. In the first month of Social Decline, I made 19 posts and in the second, 21. Now, compare that with this month and there is a problem. Nine days have already gone by and I only have 4 posts! That leaves me 21 days to write 16 new Blog posts (which is impossible at this time).

I thought purchasing a new computer would make me write more because I was free to write about whatever I wanted but instead it has spoiled me terribly. Instead of writing, I have been downloading hundreds and hundreds of MP3s, I’ve been using a Bit Torrent program to download tons of applications I could never afford, playing all those classing video games from my childhood on my PC, and just surfing the web looking for, uhh…porn.

Shit, I haven’t even updated the pictures from the “Inside mc80’s Head” section which I use to love doing. I also have a DVD rental of a movie I have been dying to watch and I haven’t even opened it! By the way, the movie is Last Tango In Paris, with my idol, Marlon Brando. I know I’ll get to it soon.

I’ve also been somewhat of a couch potato…watching every single episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter and The Surreal Life 3. Damn, I feel low.

Well, the Archives page has been drastically updated. All links are now working and a rating system is in effect so you can skip over the worst Social Decline posts, and get straight to the good ones. And, lots of new pictures for the “Inside mc80’s Head” section have been piling up on my computer, when I get to fifty or so, I will upload them for the Blog. There is also another hurricane on its way to Florida and this one will be massive! It’s a Category 5 and traveling at 165 MPH. I will be taking my camcorder in tomorrow to see if my warranty will cover it, if they do…I’ll once again be out there getting some good footage.

PS- If you like music and downloading MP3s, please download these three songs and tell me what you think;

1.“Speaking In Tongues” by Eagles of Death Metal
2.“What’s Up Fatlip” by Fatlip
3.“Slide Away” by Michael Hutchence (INXS) and Bono